And welcome back to WSHIT's morning news. It's news you can use why you sweat out the booze.

A fast-moving news day in Crabapple yesterday as the township PTA held an emergency meeting

to irate parents of Crabapple middle school. All of this started when rumors began to spread

on social media

regarding a large, furry, human-shaped kitty cat that had been installing litter boxes meant

for p-p-poo-poo in the middle of middle school restrooms. Then early in the day yesterday,

an emergency school board meeting was called in order to address the rumors. Members of the local,

gloopy political party demanded all litter boxes be removed from local schools and that any

furry human-shaped kitty cat be removed from the school thrown in the back of an unmarked vehicle

and disappeared to a for-profit work camp. While the rumors of a furry human kitty cat installing litter

boxes inside of the school could not be independently confirmed by WSHIT, we must agree with

the pure speculation in order to receive additional government funding. However, some members

of the school board did push back on those rumors. Here's an exchange that happened during that emergency PTA meeting.

Can you name a school where it has been confirmed that students are using litter boxes?

Well, what we do with this bill is we prevent that from happening, but what we don't take out.

Can you name a school where it has been confirmed that students are using litter boxes?

This was at the top of your press release.

This was mentioned when you introduced this bill, created quite a stir.

So I'm asking, can you name a school where it's been confirmed that there are litter boxes being provided to students.

For this purpose, no, I cannot.

And in further news regarding this almost news, the mayor of Crabapple has now deployed

300 militarized, masked, armed men to roam the halls of the middle school looking for the

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