Oh, the kettle's boiled. Excellent timing. I'll just make myself a quick cupper, take a deep breath and pretend I know exactly what I'm doing. Right, let's get started.

Have you ever woken up on a Sunday morning with massive anxiety and said to yourself, I'm never drinking again,

only to find yourself waving 50 bucks at a barman by happy hour. Do you ever wonder why everyone else

can stop at one while you end up at a dodgy after party holding hands with a weird bloke called

Disco Dave? If so, it might be time to take a closer look at your reliable social crutch alcohol.

On this podcast, I investigate my own deeply dysfunctional dealings with booze and find out what

it's really like navigating this alcohol-drenched world, one fizzy water at a time. I'm going to

open up a shame shed of humiliating drinking stories to help you understand why

waking up with one eyebrow missing and a kebab sticking out of your top pocket might actually be

negatively impacting your health. So what happens when you put down those cheeky pints and finally

let go of those rewarding mummy wines? I guess we're just going to have to wait and see. I'm Victoria Vanstone

and this is sober awkward. Oh right, here I am. I just got back from the gym where I am continuing to lie to my gym teacher.

She's put me on some sort of challenge and I have to send her my weight and I keep lying about

it because, yeah, she only does the measurement.

She doesn't do the weight.

So I keep making it go down where actually it's going up, but, you know, we'll see what happens for that.

Please don't tell anyone. I can't believe I'm telling you here. If you know me and you live locally, please don't go and tell her because I'll get in trouble.

I'm having a good week this week because I've turned a few corners. If you listen to last week's episode, then you'll know

that I was having a bad week, but things are looking up. And actually, I got a message from

my lovely Hamish, who I'm missing terribly, of course. And my week's going okay, because I'm spending

it comparing my week to his, because his week is not going well. I'm going to play you, without his permission, actually, a message that he sent me yesterday.

Here we go.

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