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And here he goes, original.

I was born with a special gift.

The ability to mentally transform any situation into the worst case scenario.

In my own brain, my therapist calls my gift catastrophizing.

And that's why I'm uniquely qualified to scrutinize and analyze history's greatest disasters

and find out who's to blame.

They say history repeats itself.

Not on my watch.

My name is Rebecca Delgado-Smith and I am the alarmist.

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning into the alarmist, a comedy podcast where we talk about

history's greatest tragedies and figure out who's to blame.

Today we're discussing America's late-stage capitalism.

Here's what you need to know.

Throughout the years as your trusted alarmist, I have tirelessly poked and prodded

tragic events spanning Earth's history.

From natural disasters to human failures, unfortunate injustices to deliberate scams,

isolated incidences to widespread corruption,

...