Alana and Luke Gordon On Navigating Betrayal Trauma - Love, Honesty and Control (You Can Only Pick 2)

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 10 August 2022

⏱️ 80 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Alana Gordon and her husband Luke share their story of the highs and lows of navigating a marriage after discovering Luke’s pornography and sex addiction. They talk about what their marriage looked like leading up to the discovery of Luke’s addiction if Alana saw signs before discovery, and what the relationship looked like days, weeks, months, and years after “D-Day.” Alana is the Program Director of WORTH (Women of Rebirth and Therapeutic Healing https://healingwithworth.org/) (https://healingwithworth.org/)) and the Director of Choose Recovery Services (https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/ (https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/)). Luke is the Co-Director of Choose Recovery Services and the Director of the Men of Moroni and Sons of Helaman pornography addiction recovery programs (https://lifechangingservices.online/menofmoroni/ (https://lifechangingservices.online/menofmoroni/)). Tony’s episode about Trauma Bonding on the Healing with WORTH podcast can be heard here https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NCKsJ5ce7oSfhagyaxORi?si=74e1ef1a52bc4421 (https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NCKsJ5ce7oSfhagyaxORi?si=74e1ef1a52bc4421)If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email [email protected] (mailto:[email protected]). You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop (http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop) to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com/) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ (https://descript.com/?lmref=bSWcEQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everybody, and take a seat on the virtual couch.
0:26.6	Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode 3333 triple threase of the virtual couch.
0:27.6	I'm your host, Tony Overbay.
0:33.0	I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, a certified mindful habit coach, writer, speaker, husband, father, four,
0:42.9	and creator of the path back, a pornography recovery program that is continuing to build momentum and help people overcome turn into pornography as a coping mechanism.
0:50.8	So whether you want to call it an addiction, it's not an addiction, it's something that's annoying, something you waste time on any kind of unhealthy coping mechanism.
0:53.3	The Pathback recovery program is for you.
0:54.9	So I would suggest to go to Tonyoverbay.com and I have a link there for courses and you can find the path back through there.
0:59.6	So coming up on today's episode, I have an amazing interview. And it's almost embarrassing
1:04.1	to think that the work I do, the couples work that I do, that I really haven't interviewed
1:08.9	couples. And so I interview Luke and Alana Gordon,
1:13.1	and they are a pretty amazing couple that I had been made aware of from several people,
1:19.6	because they do a lot of work in the community that I do as well. She is a therapist,
1:24.8	and she's also been through betrayal trauma. and then Luke is her husband. So then
1:30.1	he would be considered the betrayer and Alana the betrayed. And Luke is now doing some relationship
1:36.5	coaching, some addiction coaching. And so there are a couple that have really walked the walk.
1:41.6	And I do so much couples work and I do often work in the world of betrayal trauma, whether that's people that have
1:47.7	discovered a spouse that is turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms at an alarming amount
1:55.2	or rate or people that are going through the betrayal from infidelity.
2:00.0	Or there's also a component of betrayal trauma
2:02.2	when you wake up to the emotional immaturity in a spouse or the narcissistic traits and
2:06.9	tendencies in a spouse where you can also experience that betrayal trauma where you feel like
	...

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