Agreeable Disagreement

The Look & Sound of Leadership

Essential Communications - Tom Henschel

Education, Executive Coaching, Self-improvement, Executive Presence, Careers, Business, Management

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 10 October 2019

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This month’s coaching conversation follows an executive’s journey from a bulldozer, rolling over people and their ideas, to a thoughtful seeker of ways to get his ideas heard while also building positive relationships. Related episodes are: Assertion versus Aggression Be Impeccable With Your Word Disagree Agreeably – yes, that was an episode long ago! Don’t Take It Personally The Conflict Conversation Sorting & Labeling This Tip is in four categories in the archive: Communication...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive
0:07.8	coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you
0:12.2	want to be perceived.
0:14.3	I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about
0:18.5	agreeable disagreement. Marshall, a television executive, was facing open rebellion from the writers he supervised.
0:31.1	Marshall had been supervising television a long time and was completely comfortable stopping
0:36.2	conversations with a forceful no.
0:39.1	The writers viewed Marshall as harsh and uncaring. When I asked Marshall what he thought the writers
0:45.3	were upset about, his first response was that they were overly sensitive. He said
0:50.4	everything they write is precious to them.
0:53.7	Every scene, every word is like their baby.
0:56.2	I'm the guy who has to tell them their baby's ugly.
0:58.8	Nobody likes what I have to say.
1:01.6	I ventured, well even if they don't like the message, is there a way you could
1:05.8	deliver it that wouldn't strain the relationship so much? Ha! Fat chance! he laughed.
1:19.0	I told Marshall I felt differently. I told him I felt it was possible to get your message heard and attend to the relationship.
1:24.7	My friend and colleague Lois Frankel quotes Churchill all the time saying,
1:29.0	Tacked is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
1:35.0	Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.
1:42.0	He laughed again. for directions.
1:43.3	He laughed again, if you can show me how, I'll do it.
1:49.0	Over the six months of our coaching, Marshall explored different behaviors. He was looking for ones that would allow him
	...

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