We've been mentioning our counseling team here at Focus on the Family

the past several episodes and they get all sorts of calls and letters.

One of the most common calls they get is from parents of adults and young adults who just

those kids aren't walking with God and it's a disappointment and it's hard and it almost feels like a personal failure on your part. Well I'm John Fuller along

with Dr Danny Werta who heads up our parenting team and used to be part of the

counseling team here at Focus and Danny when a child isn't

walking in the faith like we hoped and dreamed and trained them for, how do we as

parents typically respond?

Well, many times there's a desperation that is kind of the reaction that I see in parents.

Sometimes if there's an extreme rebelliousness there's a disconnection and if

a defensiveness that I see in parents and also shame that parents go to

but in that desperation they can go to extremes like you know just never come by our house again or

They want to do everything they can to regain love and so that it's to the extremes rather than a balanced approach and

there's strong feelings of powerlessness helplessness that come in again that

shamefulness can be overwhelming and it really exposes a lot of

insecurity that we've got about ourselves. That we've done something wrong, right?

That's kind of the central theme there. I've done something wrong. What is it that I did

that was wrong? And your child is making decisions based on many influences that have come

into their lives and it's not just you that has

ownership over your child's decisions your child has those now you can love

them and they need you to show up with that confidence that that love of Christ that you've got, that you

reassured that in your imperfection God has grace on you and he loves you tremendously in that

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