Addressing Narcissistic Patterns in Marriage Ep. 721
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Dr. Kim Kimberling
4.9 • 813 Ratings
🗓️ 31 March 2026
⏱️ 11 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We've explored the spectrum of narcissism, now it's time to dive into what you can do when those patterns show up in your marriage. Dr. Kim shares how to discern when to speak up and when to self-reflect, how to cultivate an atmosphere for healthy conversation, and why boundaries are essential for meaningful connection.
Episode Takeaways:
Forgiveness is not pretending something didn't happen.
Trust has to be built consistently over time.
Being a good christian spouse does not mean absorbing pain.
When you see the same behaviors repeatedly, it's time to do something.
Language matters when having productive conversations.
Change starts with responsibility, not accusation.
God sees you and He is near!
Quotes from this Episode:
You can forgive someone and still require accountability.
Healthy relationships don't make you feel like you're losing your mind.
Keep love as the goal.
Boundaries aren't unloving, they are essential.
Patterns that took years to develop don't disappear in just weeks.
Labels can explain behavior, but they rarely heal relationships.
Defensiveness feels safe, but it slowly kills intimacy.
You can't control your spouse's willingness to change — but you can control your own humility.
Most marriages don't break from one big issue, but from unaddressed patterns over time.
Healing begins when curiosity replaces accusation.
Take Time to Talk About It:
What narcissistic or self-protective patterns do you notice repeating in your marriage?
How does defensiveness show up for you — and what is it usually trying to protect?
What would it look like to take responsibility for your part without minimizing the pain you've experienced?
Mentioned in this Episode:
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Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week!
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Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship
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Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Continue growing in love and intimacy, don't stop Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage.
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If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, John 1 14 says, Jesus came full of grace and truth, not one or the other, but both. |
| 0:07.1 | Grace without truth becomes enabling. You absorb pain and nothing changes. |
| 0:12.8 | Truth without grace becomes harsh. But when you hold both, I love you, I forgive you, |
| 0:18.7 | and this behavior still needs to change. |
| 0:21.7 | That's powerful. |
| 0:22.8 | That's Christ-like. |
| 0:24.2 | And here's what forgiveness is not. |
| 0:25.9 | It's not pretending something didn't happen. |
| 0:28.3 | It's not giving permission to keep hurting you. |
| 0:31.6 | Forgiveness releases the death, but trust is different. |
| 0:35.8 | Trust has to be rebuilt through consistent, changed behavior. |
| 0:40.3 | You can forgive someone and still require accountability. That's not unforgiving. |
| 0:46.3 | Guys, that's wise. |
| 1:00.6 | Welcome to the Lost of Marriage Podcast, where we're dedicated to building stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. |
| 1:07.3 | I'm your host, Dr. Kim Kimmerling, and I've been counseling couples for 40 years and married to my amazing wife, Nancy, for 55 years. |
| 1:09.8 | Our goal is to help your marriage thrive. |
| 1:12.7 | We exist to help hurting marriages heal, Healthy marriages grow in families, stay together. Each week we bring you practical tips, expert |
| 1:17.9 | insights, and real stories from couples who are making their marriage is truly awesome. So whether |
| 1:23.9 | you're newlyweds, celebrating decades together, or anywhere in between, you're in the right place to take your marriage from good to awesome. |
| 1:31.0 | So thanks for joining us today. Let's dive in. |
| 1:36.8 | Our resource this month has cut the criticism and cultivate companionship in your marriage. |
| 1:43.1 | So have you ever noticed how small comments, |
... |
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