Adam Lane Smith

Danica Patrick Pretty Intense Podcast

Jennifer Cawley

Danica Patrick, Spirituality, Health & Fitness, Pretty Intense, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture

4.4 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 29 January 2026

⏱️ 83 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Welcome back to The Pretty Intense Podcast. We are talking to Adam Lane Smith, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has become widely known for his work on attachment theory, emotional healing, and relationship dynamics. As a bestselling author and popular podcaster, he translates complex psychological concepts into practical, accessible insights, often focusing on how attachment patterns shape adult relationships and personal growth. Through books, long-form conversations, and online education, Smith has built a large following by blending clinical experience with direct, sometimes unconventional commentary aimed at helping people develop healthier connections with themselves and others. Do you know what your attachment style is? Listen in and find out.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Dating has been around for about 100 years.
0:02.3	That's it?
0:03.0	You should have a network that brings you the best man in the area. Women don't... Oh, we're really screwing it up, I think. Correct. The best man is presented to her, and she gets to make a decision if she accepts her or not. Can I ask you about your relationship? Yes. Okay. What is one big problem you have seen that has really ended your relationships for you? And I'll tell you if that's common or not.
0:23.2	Um.
0:24.0	When you take mammals. What is one big problem you have seen that has really ended your relationships for you?
0:21.6	And I'll tell you if that's common or not.
0:23.6	Um, we take mammals and we block their vasopressin receptors.
0:27.6	If they previously were faithful monogamous partners, they become cheaters like that.
0:31.6	Rampant cheaters.
0:33.6	That's why people get married. They should just say that at the altar.
0:35.6	Let's agree to give good feelings till one of us dies or it runs out that we file for divorce and find someone more fun.
0:41.1	Marriage was always supposed to be run more like a business. You won't care about me. You will mistreat me. I have to serve you and you will betray me in the end. That's what most women are thinking because for the last four generations, men have fallen short.
0:54.5	Now, with insecure attachment, your amygdala is hyperactive and it hallucinates an additional
0:59.1	340% of the time.
1:00.7	He hasn't texted me in 15 minutes and he hasn't responded.
1:03.5	I'm going to send him 17 texts describing how much I love him.
1:09.0	That's fascinating to hear you say that the big cities, as we're talking about
1:13.8	attachment styles, since that's your area of expertise with anxious, avoidant, fearful, disorganized,
1:20.6	secure. And I was joking that 13% I thought was how many people were secure out there, which I
1:25.5	still think is high because I don't meet a whole lot of them. But you said that big cities versus small towns and communities
1:34.1	and families are what plays into it. So what is the research on finding people with secure
1:40.1	attachment style versus all of the others. So the research is fascinating.
	...

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