Adam Lane Smith - What Every Man Should Know About Attachment—And What Redpill Gets Wrong

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 591 Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2023

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Talking points: redpill, dating, relationships, mindset, culture, attachment Adam's been making waves recently with his no-nonsense yet deeply considerate approach to the insanity that is modern relationships. This convo was centered around Adam's expertise in attachment theory—aka the way you as a child learn to get safety and love. You can probably guess that it's kind of a big deal. Dig in, team. (00:00:00) - Intro and Adam’s defining moment(00:03:07) - What drew Adam to attachment theory(00:06:16) - Adam’s definition of attachment, and why it’s important for individuals(00:10:10) - The signs of secure attachment in men and women (00:16:34) - More insight on anxious and avoidant attachment styles(00:19:42) - Where do Nice Guys fit on the attachment spectrum, and how do they move towards secure attachment?(00:29:47) - The sad and dysfunctional truth about how some men get out of anxious attachment(00:36:33) - The mess that is modern dating, seen through the attachment lens(00:44:19) - MGTOW and avoidant attachment, and “clear pill” (00:52:11) - The loss of mature masculinity goes way, way back(00:59:38) - The contributing factors to mature masculinity Adam Lane Smith is a transformative force in the field of personal development and relationships. Leveraging years of professional experience as a licensed psychotherapist, he has honed his craft as a highly sought-after Attachment Specialist and personal coach. From hardworking blue-collar families seeking to mend marital discord, to high-power executives striving for harmony in parenting, to millionaire CEOs navigating the intricate world of dating, Adam’s profound insights and advice have proven invaluable time and again. Connect with Adam -Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ -YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg -Courses: https://adamlanesmith.com/courses/ Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, Mr. Adam Lane Smith. How you doing, my friend?
0:08.0	I'm doing great. It's good to be here. I'm looking forward to this conversation.
0:11.5	Likewise. I thought I'd full name you straight out the gates.
0:14.2	I appreciate that. You don't want to be Adam Smith and sell books on Amazon. I'll tell you.
0:19.5	It'll be about on page 3,000.
0:21.2	So Adam Lane Smith is what I got to go by.
0:23.0	That's right.
0:23.5	That makes sense. I mean, I feel like I'd be very Googlerable if I use my middle names because I have like, I don't think I've actually ever shared this on the podcast, but my middle names, both my middle names. I'll only reveal one of them, but both of my middle names are my grandfather's names, and they are both old, old school names that most, like, nobody has
0:43.4	anymore. And one of them is Roland, R-O-L-A-N-D, Roland, which is very, very old-school name, right?
0:51.0	There's no Rollins running around, I don't think, in grade four or two right now,
0:54.8	or in their 40s, for that matter. But anyways, man, I'm looking forward to this conversation.
1:00.8	Let's start what we always start, which is tell us a story about a defining moment in your life that
1:05.8	made you who you are today. I, years back, was a licensed psychotherapist, and I specialized in trauma, severe trauma
1:14.7	at the time. And I was placed in this big correctional facility, one of the worst in the United
1:20.6	States for some of the worst offenders, death penalty inmates, long-term gag members. And I remember
1:25.4	sitting in this little closet of a tiny office that they
1:29.2	gave me to work with convicted killers, obviously. Just put him in a closet with a therapist.
1:34.2	And there was this gentleman who was in his 40s. And he had been a hardcore long-term gang member,
1:40.0	multiple killings for his crew. And he had reached the end of his rope because he had a small child at home.
1:45.5	And he was looking at another five years on something completely unrelated to killing,
1:51.5	completely unrelated, something else, something foolish that he had done, more foolish.
1:56.7	And he was getting choked up.
	...

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