Last week on Thomas in the Bible, the apostles continue to do better than Jesus at spreading the word throughout Judea after being chased out of Jerusalem by Saul of Tarsus.

Philip gets busy in Samaria, surpassing the sorcerer Simon's supernatural slight who subsequently saw the signs and sought similarly saintly superpowers.

Saul of Tarsus goes blind and becomes a real tool of God. Not his choice, though, because free will only become an issue later when somebody invents apologetics. Paul, here's the palsy. I wonder if they named it after him. And makes a zombie. Peter gets hungry and has a vision where God says that previously unclean food is now A-OK. Yay, bacon. Finally, Gentiles get to join the Christians and lose their

free will, too, with a yon count of zero. Zero. Well, it's exciting. Hello, it's Thomas in the

Bible. This is Thomas in your Bible speaking. We've missed you. It's been a week. And we're right back at you

with Acts 11 through 14. Yeah, I never thought of it. Each chapter should be like an act.

It should be like, the act for this chapter is, and then someone does an act, like a comedy act. That would be funny.

It's, it's the, the Bible's attempt at humor. And that would actually, ah, that would have

been so nice. We could add a nice, you know, like, easygoing chapter of the Bible. A nice, like,

here's, here was, here are the best top comedy acts from the Bronze Age.

You know what?

That would have been nice.

I would, or are we to the Iron Age now?

I don't know.

Whatever age we're in.

Well, isn't that necessary?

I mean, this is a Bible.

There's a book of like all this crap from this time period.

And, and, you know, God should, what, rain over every form of human expression, right?

Should be song and dance and plays and whatever.

And there should be a comedy act.

So that should be, that should actually be what Acts is. It's just all the best

...