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The Bugle

Aclockalypse Soon

The Bugle

The Bugle

Andy Zaltzman, Mildly Informed, Satire, Tiff Stevenson, Test Match Special, The Gargle, John Oliver, Hari Kondabolu, Nish Kumar, Chris Addison, Politics, Top Stories, The Last Post, News, Comedy, News Commentary, Alice Fraser, Urncast

4.86.6K Ratings

🗓️ 31 January 2023

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The clock is ticking to Doomsday, George Santos is telling fibs to the level of a UK cabinet minister, and do we care about tiny liquid super robots, who have timed their arrival pretty badly? Andy is with Josh Gondelman and Mark Steel.


Why not listen to our new show, celebrating 15 years of Top Stories: https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/topstories.


Featuring:

Andy Zaltzman

Josh Gondelman

Mark Steel

Produced by Chris Skinner and Laura Turner.



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

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0:00.0

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world!

0:13.6

Hello Bugleers and welcome to issue 4251 of the Bugle.

0:17.9

I am Andy Zoltzman, live in London.

0:20.8

It is the 30th of January 2023 and I'm delighted to report that despite rumours to the country,

0:26.0

Planet Earth has just been recommissions for another 5-year stint that had been talked.

0:31.7

For the end of 2025, it would be it for the planet with several new planets applied

0:37.0

with one of the franchise slots and Earth's form having, of course, flatline drastically in recent times.

0:42.8

But we are staying put at least until 2030.

0:46.4

It's bad news for Neptune though, which has not had its contract renewed.

0:49.8

And it's a very rare place.

0:51.4

By a new planet in January 26, the bidding process is now open and according to rumours,

0:57.4

Elon Musk's Megasphere company or amongst the front runners having promised the first cubic planet,

1:03.0

which would also be the second most livable planet after Earth.

1:07.2

With atmosphere of 50% nitrogen,

1:09.8

then 50% musky and tetra oxide, and you gas, and makes people impervious to criticism.

1:15.0

So what an exciting time to be welcoming my 2nd co-host this week.

1:20.0

Firstly, giggling away in South London.

1:23.4

It's Mark Steele. Hello, Mark.

1:25.7

Hello, I just have excellent news about the new planet.

1:28.4

I know it's been a little bit of a fan of Neptune.

1:31.0

Yeah. Yeah, it's Charles.

1:33.3

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

...

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