Get it's the bird show exciting, but it's also stressful that first year that you're in any new city

Everything is just so new you don't know where to go

You don't know where the grocery store is you don't know where the restaurants are the bars are how to get

to here to there it's exciting because it's all new but it's stressful nonetheless

yeah it only took me 15 months but I finally had a mental breakdown about my big

move to Atlanta and it happened at a room full of complete strangers so that was really fun and not at all awkward

and honestly it has less to do with the move in the city of Atlanta and more reflecting on

everything I've lost because of the move and like when you're moving to a new city like at

least for me like I wasn't I wasn't sad at all when I moved.

Like this was exciting for me like new city, new friends, new restaurants to check out, new apartment, new men to ignore me.

Like the possibilities that were truly endless with this move and

the loss kind of happens gradually over the year like everything's very exciting at first and then little by little, you start to lose people that were in your life, you start to lose different parts of yourself because you're in a new environment, and you have new people influencing you and your life

and yourself just start to look very very different and it all came to a head yesterday

because I decided to do something I haven't done in probably a year and I have talked

about it a little bit on air but I haven't really gone into much depth with it because it's been a very confusing part of my life for the last year, but I've mentioned I'm a Christian and that part of my life has always been very important to me but probably for the last year

like it's just something I felt very disconnected from I've thought about it for a couple of years

and I've just really distanced myself from the faith and it hasn't really made sense for me so anyway I had like an emotional low a couple

weeks ago and I was like you know I should probably go back to church and you know that

just see if I I feel like I can connect to it again and I saw an advertisement for a small group for people like me who are kind of figuring it out.

And so I went yesterday for the first time and from the second I walked in, I couldn't, I was like this, like I could not stop crying.

Nothing happened. There were no questions. I just walked in and I'm just sitting there like sobbing.

And it's so embarrassing because it's me and like 10

...