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Hard Knox with Amanda Knox

A Wee Existential Crisis

Hard Knox with Amanda Knox

Knox Robinson Productions

True Crime, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2026

⏱️ 14 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What do you do when the thing that gave your life shape is finally, imperfectly, done? In this solo episode, Amanda Knox reads an original essay about arriving at the other side of an eighteen-year fight for her own story. She writes about motherhood, the fear of being called a narcissist for mining her own trauma, Bo Burnham, and the stubborn suspicion that measuring yourself against the worst thing that ever happened to you might be exactly the wrong way to keep score. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

For ad-free episodes of Hard Knocks, subscribe at Amandanox.substack.com, where you'll also find access to essays, bonus episodes, and more.

0:10.4

Enjoy.

0:15.8

I'm Amanda Knox, and you're listening to Hard Knocks.

0:20.0

I'm Amanda Knox, and you're listening to Hard Knocks.

0:30.1

I'm having a wee existential crisis.

0:35.8

For 18 years, I have been on what is felt like an epic quest for truth.

0:40.3

Ever since the fall of 2007, when my roommate Meredith was murdered and I was wrongly accused of killing her, I've been trying to set the record straight.

0:46.0

I tried with the police when they questioned me for 53 hours over five days in the wake of her murder.

0:51.9

They didn't listen. I tried in court. I was convicted.

0:56.8

My family tried to set the record straight for me while I was silenced in prison, but their

1:01.6

voices were buried beneath a mountain of misinformation and scandal designed to protect institutional

1:07.7

reputations at the expense of the truth.

1:18.1

Eight years after my arrest, the Italian High Court finally acknowledged error, but only partially.

1:26.3

The final verdict concluded that Meredith's true killer, Rudy Gadegh had committed her rape and murder with unknown others, and that my boyfriend Raphael and I were possibly present but uninvolved.

1:31.6

We were finally acknowledged as innocent, but the court left open the possibility that we knew more than we were telling,

1:39.2

and that we were covering for a killer and his phantom accomplices.

1:43.3

It was a logically inconsistent conclusion that

1:46.5

satisfied no one, not Meredith's family, and not me. I emerged into freedom legally exonerated

1:55.4

of murder, yet socially branded. Traumatized by multiple perpetrators over multiple years, I reentered a world

2:03.5

that did not seem like it wanted me. I was not only endlessly scrutinized and doubted,

2:09.2

but I was held accountable for Meredith's erasure. I was treated as if I had authored

2:15.3

all the headlines that had ignored her while putting an obsessive focus on me.

...

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