A Warlock Traveled Through The Earth For Christian Ass – NEW SHOW!
Distorted View Daily: NSFW Comedy, Weird News & Internet Oddities
Tim Henson
4.7 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 11 May 2026
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Prefer to listen? Play the latest episode below. Episode Summary Monday’s show is a rich stew of birthday flatulence, Christian wizard warfare, Starbucks demonology, an enraged Walmart patriot, diamond-smuggling digestive drama, and a European contest devoted entirely to screaming like a seagull. In other words, a very normal start to the week. Opening Chaos Dragon […]
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey Freaks, it's Monday, May 11th, |
| 0:03.2 | 2026. Coming up on the program today, |
| 0:05.4 | I virtually fart out a happy birthday wish. |
| 0:08.0 | Plus, the religious prophet who almost got sexually assaulted by a warlock, |
| 0:12.2 | demonic squids squirting all over a church congregation, |
| 0:15.4 | and mirror mirror on the beach, who's the seagulliest on two feet? |
| 0:19.7 | I'm coming up today. |
| 0:29.6 | Distorted View Daily. the beach who's the seagulliest on two feet on coming up today distorted view daily proudly presents stuck in an elevator with an idiot so now we're trying to uh prior our way through because the piece of shit's trying to tell me. |
| 0:38.5 | Help is out of the way. Help is out of the way. |
| 0:41.9 | Like sack of shit. |
| 0:43.6 | Yes. |
| 0:45.7 | So we got a bar. |
| 0:48.6 | So we have the door wedged. |
| 0:52.7 | And it is solid. |
| 0:54.4 | There, now we have air. |
| 0:56.0 | To be honest. |
| 0:56.4 | Open the door and get the fuck out of my way. |
| 0:58.5 | We're totally fine. |
| 1:00.6 | We're good. |
| 1:02.0 | You don't need to worry about it, man. |
| 1:03.3 | Now that we have air. |
| 1:05.1 | Yeah, we got the door open. |
... |
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