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A Very Special Holiday Trumpcast

Slate News

Slate Podcasts

News, News Commentary, Politics

4.56K Ratings

🗓️ 25 December 2019

⏱️ 23 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kick back and lighten your political load with never-before heard interpretations of Trump’s most infamous missives by John Di Domenico, and a new sketch from Kate James and Ben Rameaka of the Trumpcast Impeachers.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

So I want to thank everybody. I want you to have a great Christmas. I want you to have an incredible new year.

0:05.0

I think we're poised for tremendous success in the United States.

0:10.0

And enjoy all that new equipment that we're getting you. It's all made in the USA. Very important.

0:15.0

It's made in the USA every bit of it. So thank you all very much. Merry Christmas. Thank you.

0:23.0

Let me be clear. Our request for documents is not a new demand.

0:27.0

Nora would have created a time-consuming document production effort. I think most of America wants to see all the facts come out, but not in a dilatory way.

0:37.0

She's apparently trying to tell us how to run the trial. You know, I'm not actually to have this trial, so she wants to hold on to the papers. I'm going right ahead.

0:46.0

Hello and welcome to Trumpcast. Or as I like to call it, me cast. This is being recorded at Mara Lago by Fantastic Club down here in Florida, where I just moved because New York. Oh, it's horrible.

1:04.0

But we have a tremendous show for you today. You're really going to love it. Believe me. Believe me. It is my favorite time of year. It's Christmas. And you now can say Merry Christmas.

1:19.0

You know, under Obama, it was illegal. It was illegal to say Merry Christmas. You would be arrested and sent to some prison somewhere.

1:29.0

But under me, the greatest president and the history of presidents, you can say Merry Christmas and be proud. And everyone's saying Merry Christmas.

1:40.0

You know what else they're saying? They're saying we want the tweets. So now it's time for me to do the tweets.

1:50.0

Everything we're seeing from Speaker Pelosi and Senator Schumer suggested they're in real doubt about the evidence they brought forth so far not being good enough and are very, very urgently seeking a way to find some more evidence.

2:08.0

The only way to make this work is to, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, mouth, some kind of public pressure to demand witnesses, but McConnell has the votes and he can run this trial anyway he wants at Brittium at Fox and Friends.

2:30.0

And Nancy Pelosi was already lost the house and speakership once and is about to lose it again is doing everything she can to delay the zero Republican vote articles of impeachment.

2:48.0

She's trying to take over the Senate and cry and chuck is trying to take over the trial. No way dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

2:58.0

What right does crazy Nancy have to hold up this Senate trial? None. She has a bad case and would rather not have a negative decision.

3:10.0

This which hunt must end now with a trial in the Senate or let her default and lose no more time should be wasted on this impeachment scam.

3:41.0

Wasn't that incredible. I'm so incredible not only do I write the tweets I read the tweets I can really do anything I have to tell you I should probably own Twitter I really really should look into buying it.

3:57.0

Right now I want to talk about the greatest first lady in the history of first ladies she is smoking hot I mean she's an 11 when you get right down to it and Melania works so hard behind the scenes.

4:12.0

I want all of you to have a look into her creative process decorating the White House for Christmas we have a very, very special insight can we roll that please.

4:27.0

Being asked to decorate the White House for the holidays is truly one of the biggest honors of my life. I know it is a Nana for you and I would like to outdo myself from last year.

...

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