A UFC Weigh-In
SPONTANEANATION with Paul F. Tompkins
Paul F. Tompkins
4.9 • 4.1K Ratings
🗓️ 10 May 2015
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Paul F. Tompkins welcomes adults and children of all genders but NOT pets to Spontaneanation! This week he is joined by special guest Kaitlin Olson of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia! They chat aboutKaitlins favorite invention, changing into soft clothes at home, and the unusualtrick-or-treating arrangement on the Olson ancestral home. Paul is then joined by improvisers Mark McConville, Chris Tallman and Jean Villepique,to improvise a story set at a UFC Weigh-In. As always, the astonishing Eban Schletter scores it all on piano. Will Crusher Emily, the Sausage Maker from the Cuyahoga defeat Monster (not Demon) Brad? Tune in to find out!Los Angeles: Spontaneanation will be LIVE in front of your very eyes with special guests on Friday, June 19th at Largo at the Coronet! Get tickets now at http://www.largo-la.com /!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | uh welcome welcome my friends whether ye be returning or whether ye be here for the first time |
| 0:17.5 | is there a way? |
| 0:23.4 | I could have condensed that into a word like returning. |
| 0:24.8 | What's the opposite of returning? |
| 0:25.6 | Arriving. |
| 0:27.4 | No, not quite the same. |
| 0:30.2 | For my purposes, what a terrible introduction. |
| 0:43.9 | Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, young men, young women, children of all genders, not pets. |
| 0:52.7 | If you have a pet that is listening to this show right now, first of all, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the situation. |
| 0:59.0 | Secondly, I will thank you to order your pet from the room. |
| 1:10.0 | For you see, scripture tells us that God granted us dominion over the beasts of the field. And you're saying, Paul, my pet isn't a goddamn ox? |
| 1:15.6 | It's a dog. |
| 1:18.6 | You get what I mean. |
| 1:21.6 | We're not going to get, guys, we're not going to get anywhere. |
| 1:24.6 | If you're going to take my words literally and pretend you don't understand my new words. |
| 1:34.7 | You understand me? |
| 1:37.3 | Listen, guys, it's not difficult. |
| 1:51.6 | I'm sorry that we had a fight that mostly was on my side of the world. |
| 1:51.9 | What? |
| 1:54.5 | I don't know how to define. |
| 1:56.0 | Here's another word we need. |
| 2:03.6 | The physical relationship of me to you right now as you listen to this. |
... |
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