A Trial of Two Cities

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2014

⏱️ 94 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Philadelphia and Raleigh face off! Cousins Lara and Christine each claim her city is best. Who is RIGHT? We're joined by expert witness JON WURSTER of Superchunk, The Mountain Goats and the late, great, BEST SHOW ON WFMU.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorn. This week, a trial of two cities.
0:08.0	Christine brings the case against her cousin Laura. Christine lives in Philadelphia. Laura lives in Raleigh.
0:14.0	Christine says the two cities aren't comparable in Philadelphia is clearly the superior city.
0:20.0	Laura disagrees. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.
0:30.0	Though she envies not others, their merited glory. Say whose name stands the foremost in Liberty's story.
0:38.0	Though too true to herself, air to crouch to oppression. Who can yield to just rule a more loyal submission.
0:46.0	"...Do-do-doo-da-da..." please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god or whatever?
1:01.0	Idea Now You swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that in the America's most livable city competition, he voted for the undersea city of Atlantis.
1:13.0	under sea city of Atlantis.
1:15.8	Yes. I do. Yes. Very well, Judge Hodgeman.
1:19.0	It is technically an American city. I will stand by that.
1:22.2	I've done the research. I can show you my power point.
1:26.9	Christine and Laura, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in your
1:30.4	favor. Can either one of you name not one, but both pieces of culture that I
1:38.0	referenced as I entered the courtroom?
1:43.4	Yeah. I thought it was the Bible, mate.
1:46.1	Who's speaking?
1:48.0	Laura, the Bible, maybe Laura, and you live in Raleigh, North Carolina.
1:52.6	You do not know your Bible.
1:56.0	Christine, I have no culture now.
2:00.5	You live, can you name one of the pieces of culture that I referenced since you
2:04.9	live in Philadelphia?
	...

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