Child, the weeds are wolves, the giggle are gurgled, the yes are young, the sneeze are snowsed, the bling I just blundered.

On this episode of the Commercial Break, did you know that it takes a drop of water 90 days to travel the entirety of the Mississippi River,

or that one person's circulatory system, late end to end, is more than 60,000 miles long.

Also, the bumblebee bat is the world's smallest mammal. Here's another interesting factoid.

One hair appointment by Teresa Caputo uses over 62 bottles of gorilla glue just to keep that hair looking helmet picture perfect.

And finally, usually the commercial break only releases episodes Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

However, we love you, you've been good to us, so we're gonna be good to you.

We've pulled together a few clips from last week's episode to catch you up on all the comings, goings, hilarity, and shenanigans of the commercial break.

While it's not our normal MO to be releasing episodes on off days, we want to keep you on your toes.

Fresh and things up, change things around, and we may or may not be contractually obligated to put out a bunch more episodes.

I kid, I kid, no one's gonna put us under contract, we're just having some fun here in the studio, and we thought we'd pass it on to you.

Chrissy and I will be back in studio later on this week to bring you brand new episodes of the commercial break.

But until then, enjoy this Tuesday Cliff Notes version of TCB.

And now, a short disclaimer.

The commercial break is not in fact contractually obligated to do anything.

The commercial break has not been FDA tested. The commercial break may or may not cause extra hair growth under your armpits, on your elbows, on your knuckles, on your knees, on your toes, on your white toes, on your partner's toes, on your children's toes, on your dog's toes.

The commercial break is not responsible for idiots, fuckedoads, ass hats, shitheads, douche canoes, players, stick down boys, eff boys, garrons, rude people, nice people.

Short people, tall people, people with three years.

People with one nostril, people with four belly buttons.

The commercial break is not recommended, if you are pregnant, might be pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant, trying to get pregnant.

Not trying to get pregnant, living in a house, renting an apartment, trying to buy a condo.

Sleeping under a porch, riding an MP rail car, shopping at Target, having Walmart deliver, getting your McDonald's without pickles, eating your french fries with milkshakes, taking too many selfies,

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