Hi, this is Janet Landsbury. Welcome to Unruffold.

Today I've got a note here from a parent who says that her son is in a want to do it

myself phase. He wants to do things himself, but she's finding that he's not able to and

she ends up doing it for him and then he ends up having a tantrum. So what should she do?

How should she handle this healthy desire for independence that he has?

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Here's the note I received. Hello, my two-year-old is deep in a want to do it myself phase.

I really want to respect his need for autonomy and self-sufficiency, but I'm having a hard time

creating a structure around the timing aspect of that. For example, he asked to do something

himself, go up the stairs for bath time, take off his pants before getting his diaper changed,

putting a toy away. And I oblige, but then he delays and won't do what it is I'm telling him needs

...