A Secret I Can't Even Tell My Therapist

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 15.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 September 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Their marriage was turbulent and the divorce is now two years behind her—but she still can’t let him go. Torn between the part of her that knows it was unhealthy and the part that still longs for him, she’s preparing to see her ex again, keeping it a secret from everyone—including her therapist. Esther helps her delve into the importance of reconciling the different parts of herself and the role of her current therapist in her journey. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	In this following session, we discuss assault,
0:07.0	and I want you to know this before you listen.
0:13.0	So why are we here?
0:16.0	What made you say, okay, I need this.
0:19.0	Why now? And what would make it helpful?
0:25.6	I suppose I kind of feel like I have two opposing parts
0:32.6	that I have not been able to reconcile for years.
0:40.3	One part is this logical part,
0:44.3	the part that listens to my friends and family,
0:49.3	and that part says my past relationship was unhealthy.
0:57.0	And I should not be with him.
1:01.0	I am not currently with him.
1:03.0	We were together for nine years, married for three,
1:07.0	have been divorced and lived in separate states for two years now.
1:13.6	And then there is this deeper feeling part that can't let go of him.
1:24.6	That I have never felt so lit up, desired, excited, seen with anyone else before.
1:41.3	And so why now?
1:45.0	He, through all this time away, has stayed pretty constant in his love for me.
1:56.0	He has also dated other people in the meantime, but he reaches out every few months.
2:03.6	And we started talking again maybe two weeks ago.
2:09.6	And I know how this sounds.
2:14.6	Tell me.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Esther Perel Global Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Esther Perel Global Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.