Welcome to the total soccer show and a show and a show in which we're answering your listener questions.

We've had no questions about Mora O'Cardy's love life, why the Balloon World Cup exists,

or why Newcastle might want Wayne Rooney as a coach, but plenty of questions we actually do have the answers to.

Harrah!

My name is Ryan Bailey, and joining me today is a man who joins Joshua Kimick

in not making the Ballandoor shortlist.

It's Joe Lowry.

It is a tragedy that I am not on that list.

My agent, aka Harry Kane's brother, has not done his job,

and I will be looking for a new agent in the very near future.

Hello, Ryan.

Hello, Joe, you'll always be golden bald for me. Is that helped you? Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. That makes me feel a lot better, Ryan. Thank you so much. Good. That was my intention. Joshua Kimi, Joe, not included on the Ovalandor shortlist. He says, I'm not surprised, I'm not that great as an individual

player. Oh my. Huh. Yeah, which kind of does tell you a lot about what these things are all about, really, and puts it in perspective. The short list, Joe, is 30 man. Right. That's not very short, in my opinion. Not very short at all, but Summon Keir is on there for presumably his outstanding work at Euro 2020. Pedri's on there.

Louis Suarez, Lautauro Martinez, and... But Summon Kier is on there for presumably his outstanding work at Euro 2020. Pedri's on there.

Louis Suarez, Lautoro Martinez, and lots of other players who also won't win it.

The top three favorites, according to the bookmakers, Joe Messi, Levondowski, and Georgineo.

So, Messi's to lose because Levendoski's cursed and not allowed to win this award award apparently. Yeah, the Ballandoor is a little absurd. I don't think there's a whole lot of merit, a whole lot of value to it. There is, I guess, merit because Messi ends up winning it most of the time and that is how it should be every single year that he plays. But the fact that there was a year when he did not win it and Rinaldo has won it or Luca Madritch has won it, that sort of discredits this whole experience for me. So it is a lovely awards gala, I'm sure. But as far as the actual representation of who the best soccer player is, I'm not sure that the Bounda Orr does a great job of that. Yes, and we've talked about it too much in that respect, Joe. Why don't we introduce the other

gentlemen on this podcast who may have ordered his way star Royco Hart's jersey already. It's

Graham Rutherman. I mean, I absolutely would order that if it was for public sale. I think

they're being auctioned off for charity. I love that. Like so many Scottish football fans,

for anyone who hasn't seen basically Hart's are the team

in... So actually Logan Roy

...