A Priori Engagement

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2023

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tanya brings the case against her husband Thomas. During the height of the coronavirus pandemic, Tanya read a news story about wedding venues being booked years in advance. She asked Thomas if he wanted to get married. He said yes. Thomas interpreted that as a proposal. But Tanya says it was just a question about logistics, NOT a proposal!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, a
0:07.3	priori engagement. Tanya brings the case against her husband, Thomas. During the height of the
0:13.3	coronavirus pandemic, Tanya read a news story about wedding venues being booked years in advance.
0:20.7	She asked Thomas if he wanted to get married. He said, yes, Thomas interpreted that as a proposal.
0:28.8	But Tanya says it was just a question about logistics. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can
0:34.8	decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.
0:43.7	25 people died shoveling snow. Have that done by someone you hate. 166 looters are arrested,
0:51.0	but wait. I spent the blizzard of 78 on a commune in northern Vermont with all the Isaac Asmove
0:59.0	anybody could want. Bale of Jesse Thorn, please swear to litigants in. Tanya and Thomas, please rise
1:05.0	and raise your right hand to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,
1:09.3	so help you God or whatever. I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling
1:15.6	despite the fact that he has no wedding venues booked? I do. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.
1:22.9	Actually, Jesse, I booked none this year because last year I booked all of the wedding venues.
1:27.4	Really? All at once? Yeah. All at once. I just figured let's be safe.
1:32.8	Even though I'm married, you never know. I had a kind of a hoarding mentality when it came to
1:38.2	putting down deposits on wedding venues and caterers and did not work out well.
1:42.9	So you were to wedding venues as other people were to drive black beans?
1:46.7	I'm going to drive black beans as John Kimble of election profit makers was to catch a URL
1:52.3	in the early 2000s. Yes. I hoarded them and let's just say that boom turned to a bust and now I've
1:58.4	got several shipping containers full of canopays. But that's neither here nor there. Tanya, Thomas,
2:04.1	you may be seated for an immediate summary of judgment from one of your favors. Can either of you name?
2:10.0	I'll be direct about this. The song that I was quoting as I'd entered the courtroom. And if you
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