A Man Who Admits to Being Abusive Asks "How Do I Fight For My Wife?" [210]
Flying Free
Natalie Hoffman
5 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 14 February 2023
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It’s not often that we get a listener question from a man, and less often that we actually answer it. But today’s question of, “Should I continue to hold out hope for my marriage after abusing my wife? Should I fight for my wife? And what, in your opinion, does that look like?” struck me as being a question that we could all benefit from, so I’m going to give you my honest answer and hopefully help all of the women in this community as well as this seemingly well-intentioned man.
Let’s talk about what taking responsibility looks like, why advocates and victims of emotional abuse using sarcasm and satire to make their points, how abusers who want to change and actually love their wives can do that well (hint: it isn’t by trying to stay in power and control over the wife), and why my book may help you figure out if you are in an abusive marriage.
Key Points From This Episode:
- What taking responsibility for your actions may look like
- What triggers abusers and how an abuser’s mind thinks
- The best way an abuser can “fight” for their marriage (if they truly have changed)
- What the secret ingredient to a healthy marriage is
- Why giving your wife an amazing divorce may be the best way to show her that you love her
- A run-down of my book and why it may be helpful for you as you figure out if you are in an emotionally abusive marriage
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now.com and you're listening to the |
| 0:09.3 | Flying Free Podcast, a support resource for women of faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden |
| 0:16.4 | emotional and spiritual abuse. |
| 0:18.6 | Welcome to episode 210 of the Flying Free Podcast. Today I'm going to answer a |
| 0:27.2 | listener question but this is a bit of a twist because the listener is a man |
| 0:32.0 | who confesses to being emotionally abusive to his wife. |
| 0:36.0 | Now every once in a great while I will get a man who leaves a question for me, |
| 0:40.0 | but their questions are usually full of attitude and subtle baiting so I just delete |
| 0:46.6 | them I'm not going to waste my time or your time answering someone who just wants to |
| 0:51.0 | stir the pot and doesn't really want any honest feedback. |
| 0:55.0 | But this one was a little bit different and I think this one genuinely wants to know |
| 1:00.5 | what would be his next best course of action. I think he is open to |
| 1:05.6 | learning and changing that that doesn't mean he will. Only time will tell that story |
| 1:10.5 | but right now I think he has opened the door of his inner world, just a crack, and I have some |
| 1:16.1 | hope this one may do the hard work necessary to build a new life for himself. |
| 1:21.5 | So here's the question. |
| 1:23.7 | Hi Natalie, this is going to be one of the more interesting sound bites that you've |
| 1:27.4 | received, I'm sure, but I'm just going to let it rip. I've been married for eight years. |
| 1:35.1 | My wife and I have been separated for two to three months now. During the course of that time, I've realized that the marriage had turned into a very abusive |
| 1:40.7 | and toxic relationship. And the reason this call is |
| 1:43.4 | interesting is because I realize that the person responsible was |
| 1:47.7 | myself and after doing tons of research and listening to |
... |
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