Lemonada.

I'm Gretchen Rubin, and this is a little happier.

As an observer of human nature, I'm probably most proud of my creation of my personality framework, The Four Tendencies.

My framework divides people into upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels.

If you want to know your tendency, take the free, quick quiz on my website.

When I was groping my way toward an understanding of the four tendencies, my key observation was that we all face outer expectations

like a work deadline and in our expectations like a New Year's resolution, and depending

on whether we meet or resist those expectations, we fall into one of those four categories.

Ever since I created the framework, I've been on the hunt for good examples of

the four tendencies in memoirs, in novels, in TV shows, and particularly in life. Sometimes I try to

figure out the tendency of a famous person. It's not always possible to tell because we can't

necessarily judge someone's tendency from what they do.

We have to know how they think.

But for some people, it is possible to determine their tendency because we have a sufficient record of their thoughts and responses.

It took me a long time to decide on Steve Jobs's tendency.

Was he a questioner who tipped toward rebel or a rebel who tipped toward questioner?

After a lot of study, I realized that he was a questioner rebel.

One key thing to understand about questioners is that if you want to persuade or inspire them,

you have to give them reasons. They want answers. And if you don't have an answer to their

question, you must nevertheless engage thoughtfully with the

question. You must show the questioner that you respect the value of their questions.

Answers like, we've always done it this way, or that's the rule, or I'm the boss, won't satisfy. I often think of a poignant story I heard from

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