So for the past week I haven't been feeling so well.

You know I've had a sore throat, been feeling ill and it's draining physically in this

little drain you mentally as well.

And as I was sitting there drained having my cup of tea, my lab saying Suho black tea

which is still my favorite but I'm trying to cut myself off from black tea right now.

I drank a little bit too much of it.

As I was sitting there contemplating reading a couple books I was thinking about death.

And I asked myself what is worse than death.

Now I have actually never really had a fear of death.

It has never scared me.

I just always looked at it like something that was going to happen one day.

But for some reason this time I was afraid of it.

I was scared of it.

And I asked myself what is worse than death?

And I go through different things on my mind and thinking and thinking and thinking because

like what could be worse than not being here.

And then I thought well if I did pass away today do I feel fulfilled?

Do I have regrets?

Am I content?

And I said well of course not.

And then I asked myself for why?

I'm like well there's so much more to express.

...