4.6 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 25 May 2025
⏱️ 9 minutes
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0:00.0 | I was out with a friend recently who has a daughter in her late teens. |
0:15.8 | And my friend was telling me that her daughter believes that any negative thoughts she has |
0:20.1 | are inherently bad, |
0:23.3 | like that she shouldn't have negative thoughts at all. And this belief that negative thoughts are |
0:30.7 | problematic causes her daughter to try to repress them, while at the same time judging herself |
0:37.1 | negatively, I'm sure, for having them. |
0:40.9 | Which, I can only imagine, leads to a highly repressed, shame-based layer cake of negativity and anxiety. |
0:51.4 | And I felt really bad for this kid. |
0:57.5 | By the way, if you haven't already, you can close your eyes now, because I have more to say. And I can't help but think that a person this age is getting |
1:05.1 | this idea from a mix of social media, peer pressure to be perfect, |
1:11.7 | and a sort of black and white thinking |
1:13.7 | that the internet and its algorithms serve up. |
1:17.9 | It makes sense that you might come away with |
1:20.1 | negative thoughts are bad, judgments are bad, |
1:24.7 | or worse, a sign of mental issues. |
1:29.3 | So sometimes it's nice to be on the older side of things with some experience, so I can say, |
1:34.3 | for anyone who needs to hear it, negative thoughts are normal. |
1:40.3 | And I don't mean if you're unlucky enough to be burdened with negative thoughts that falls within the range of normal. |
1:48.0 | No. I mean, in no uncertain terms, if you have a brain, you have negative thoughts. If you have a heart, you have negative feelings. |
1:58.7 | If you have a soul, you have existential angst and pain. |
2:04.4 | They come with a territory of being a natural organism in the natural world, period. |
2:10.8 | And if you deny that or repress them or judge them, you're just setting yourself up for more trouble. |
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