Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive

coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to

be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about a breakdown

of listening. Sergei had told me he wanted our coaching to be a one-man seminar on communication skills.

My conversation with Sergei about his need to stay on topic and connect with his listeners

was the subject of the executive coaching

tip called In Sink Communications. When he realized he really hadn't noticed me

gesturing for him to get on with it, he was concerned. The next topic he wanted

to address was listening.

You should be able to teach me everything I need to know, he said, approaching the topic like the scientist he was you must be the

master of listening I laughed and said I am not the master of listening Sergei I

don't know anyone who is frankly listening is a

bitch well if it's a bitch for you for me it'll be impossible no not impossible it's a skill you can develop forever. There's no finish line. You can always get better. I've gotten better. I've treated listening like a muscle and I've worked it hard. I'm a better listener now than when I started coaching.

Good. So you can teach me, he said as a conclusion.

Okay. I began to mentally sort and label different types of listening skills.

Before I had created even my first label, Sergei asked,

What's this active listening people always talk about? Is that a thing?

Oh yes indeed, active listening is a thing.

That's a great place to start because active listening is the foundation for every other type of listening.

Good. We start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

Only Sergei could quote the Sound of Music in the middle of a discussion about listening.

I said the goal of active listening is to constantly confirm your understanding of what's being said. If I'm practicing active listening I'll say things

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