A Balustrade Tragedy
The Luke and Pete Show
Stak Production
4.8 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 9 April 2026
⏱️ 26 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Pete’s got a new project and it’s nearly claimed his life already. It involves walls, glass, vans and a great deal of calamity. Before any of that, though, there’s a more serious matter to attend to: what defines “European-strength” pornography?
Also on today’s episode, we've got exploding appendixes and plenty of listener correspondence, including a new potential segment titled “Earnest or Irritating?” Mr Donaldson will decide whether an influencer’s output is essentially likable and sincere or jarring and cynical. Get your suggested subjects in.
Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.
The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | It's the Lucan Cheat. |
| 0:06.4 | It's the Lucan cheese show. |
| 0:09.4 | You know it's the Lucan Cheese Show? |
| 0:11.4 | It's the Lucan cheese show. |
| 0:12.9 | It's the Lucan Gee Show. |
| 0:13.9 | That beautiful Indian butter one does not have... |
| 0:17.2 | I don't have any ghee in my house. |
| 0:18.6 | I feel like... |
| 0:19.6 | Will you not have it in the building? I love a bit of Indian food my house. I feel like... Will you not have it in the building? |
| 0:30.0 | I love a bit of Indian food, but I just feel like I should have a can of ghee at the back of my cupboard to never be used. |
| 0:32.4 | I think that's something that makes a house a home in many ways. |
| 0:33.1 | Is that right? |
| 0:35.6 | Big, big jar of old Nestlea ghee. |
| 0:38.5 | Should I leave, if I do finally sell my house, |
| 0:42.2 | should I leave a jar of ghee in the cupboard as an offering? |
| 0:43.0 | Is that tradition? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 0:44.3 | And also, wrapped around that, |
| 0:47.1 | stopped, stop cock, everyone's getting upset about. |
| 0:49.7 | And the, and what you need if also hide are porno mags in, you know, a cavity mall or something. |
| 0:56.9 | I wouldn't have clapped eyes on the porno mag for about 20 years. |
| 1:00.7 | Where we did that Newcastle Ramble show, over the road, |
| 1:04.6 | there was an astonishing collection in the off-license, |
... |
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