4.6 • 9.1K Ratings
🗓️ 6 January 2026
⏱️ 82 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | All right |
| 0:02.0 | All I want to be is a joke. |
| 0:34.9 | Hello, everybody. |
| 0:43.8 | It's Monday, January 5th, after a brief hiatus. I hope everyone's had a happy new year, but it is back at work in the slot minds. |
| 0:56.4 | So it's Felix and I today, and let's get right into it. Just to begin today, I think over the course of doing this show, we've heard a lot about the Brooklyn left, |
| 1:04.0 | the cool kids scene in New York City, socialism in New York City. And to that, I would just like to say, |
| 1:09.3 | welcome to Brooklyn, Nicholas Maduro. I think you'll fit in great here. He's already got the Carhart jacket. I've seen him about 15 different fits since he landed here in New York City. |
| 1:14.6 | But I welcome him to this borough of ours and wish him all the best. |
| 1:20.0 | One of many people brought into Brooklyn from the outside who had to remain seated the entire time around Real New Yorker. |
| 1:26.2 | So it's not to power over them. |
| 1:30.8 | Yes. |
| 1:31.5 | No, I will ask that he continues to defer to my judgment on how long you have to be here to count as a real New Yorker. |
| 1:39.8 | But obviously we've got to start here. |
| 1:42.4 | What a way to kick off the new year. |
| 1:44.0 | You know, waking up Saturday to find out that Delta 4th. Obviously, we got to start here. What a way to kick off the new year. |
| 2:04.3 | You know, waking up Saturday to find out that Delta Forus had attacked Venezuela, basically blacked out the entire capital city, killed around 40, 80 people, and kidnapped the president, Nicholas Maduro, and his wife, sort of absconded with them to an aircraft carrier and now Maduro is in Brooklyn where he will stand trial for |
| 2:09.2 | drug trafficking and my favorite one of the charges possession of machine guns. |
| 2:14.6 | I mean, is this not like something that like, you know, an alternate timeline where I don't |
| 2:21.1 | know what would lead to this, but Beto O'Rourke becomes president on like a Reagan Mondale |
| 2:26.7 | margin and he just starts arresting foreign leaders for having guns in their military? |
| 2:32.8 | Yeah. |
| 2:33.9 | Yeah. I mean, who knows what he's doing? mean, who knows what he's doing with those machine guns? |
... |
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