966: LEADERSHIP MINDSET: The Truth About the Authenticity Trap for Women Leaders

Shameless Leadership

Sara Dean

Self-improvement, How To, Business, Management, Education

4.7 • 800 Ratings

🗓️ 18 November 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I’m exposing the Authenticity Trap for you. The Authenticity Trap is the mixed messages women get about “being themselves.” We’re told authenticity is the key to trust, confidence, and influence, yet many of us were conditioned to 1) think we need to lead like men if we want to make it to the top to serve, and 2) constantly abandon our own needs and wants to center and care for those around us. That means when we try to show up authentically, we often bump up against years of social conditioning that taught us to prioritize likability over authenticity. The authenticity trap is what happens when the call to “be yourself” collides with systems and expectations that were never designed to make room for your full, real self. In this episode, I unpack why so many women struggle with authenticity in leadership. It’s not because we lack confidence or clarity, but because we’ve learned to perform leadership instead of embodying it in a way that is true to who we are. We’ve been rewarded for being agreeable, accommodating, and endlessly capable, even when that performance costs us energy, boundaries, and joy. The result of the Authenticity Trap is burnout, disconnection, and missed opportunities to share your best self with the world. Of course, I’m not going to leave you hanging without an action plan. We will dig into simple ways to begin reclaiming your authenticity as a daily leadership practice. We’ll talk about getting clear on your values and boundaries, noticing when you’re performing versus connecting, and experimenting with small, brave acts of honesty and self-expression. My hope is that you walk away knowing that authenticity isn’t a luxury or a buzzword. It’s a muscle that, when strengthened, allows you to tap into who you truly are when you disconnect from all the noise around you. When you strengthen this muscle and step out of the Authenticity Trap, you not only lead with more joy, ease, and impact — you also give everyone around you permission to do the same. Links Mentioned: [NOVEMBER 20th] Join my 90-minute Leadership Roundtable, Thriving in Leadership in Uncertain Times: saradean.com/roundtable [LISTENER SURVEY] Let me know what Programs & Events you want me to host in 2026: saradean.com/survey Hire me to speak: saradean.com/speaking Coach with me: https://saradean.com/executive-coaching-services Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saradeanspeaks Watch Shameless Leadership episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saradeanspeaks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to shameless leadership. I'm your host, Sarah Dean. This show is for women, transgender people, non-binary folks, as well as allies, who are committed to advancing their leadership while also advancing the leadership of those around them. In each episode, we will offer practical tips, leadership strategies, and inspiring
0:21.9	stories to help you become a more confident, compassionate, and inclusive leader. The truth is,
0:27.5	you were born to lead. What might happen for you if you were to wholeheartedly embrace that
0:32.2	part of yourself? So let's start now, together. Hello, shameless leaders. Today we're talking
0:37.2	about authenticity. And we're talking about authenticity.
0:38.3	And we're talking about authenticity in a little bit of a different way that I think is going
0:41.3	to be really eye-opening, maybe expose some things that you haven't thought about before,
0:47.3	maybe make you a little bit mad, maybe make you a little bit optimistic.
0:50.3	So let's dive in.
0:52.3	We're going to talk about authenticity as a trap for women leaders. And I'm excited
0:58.1	to talk about this because I think that we get sold a bit of a fake bill of goods when it comes
1:03.5	to authenticity for women in general and for women leaders. We're told that we should just be
1:08.2	our authentic selves and to practice being authentic in different ways and find your authentic voice. So authenticity is something that comes up a lot in
1:15.4	leadership trainings when we're talking about executive presence, when we're talking about
1:19.9	how we should show up in the world, interact in the world, engage with the world. But the truth
1:24.9	is that sometimes authenticity can be really, really confusing because women
1:32.0	aren't necessarily conditioned to be their true self. We're conditioned to be people who are
1:41.0	helpers and caregivers. We're conditioned to be people who are quiet and docile,
1:45.5	even if that's not our natural self. We're conditioned to, if we're going to go for leadership,
1:49.0	we need to be more loud, more extroverted. So we're constantly being told ways that we should
1:54.9	show up and behave and interact and engage with the world that may or may not really resonate
2:00.4	with who we truly are
	...

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