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Shameless Leadership

931: LEADERSHIP MINDSET: Upgrade Your Internal Dialogue Defaults

Shameless Leadership

Sara Dean

Education, Management, How To, Business, Self-improvement

4.7800 Ratings

🗓️ 18 March 2025

⏱️ 23 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Over the last couple of months, I’ve had the opportunity to speak on communication confidence at a handful of leadership events. One of the things that has been really eye-opening for attendees is learning about the connection between their internal communication and external communication. So, I thought this would be a helpful (and fun!) topic to dig into on the pod.   Let’s start with defining each of these terms. Internal communication is how you communicate with yourself. This includes the words and phrases you use and the tone of voice you use. When you're in a tough moment, do you speak to yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect? Or, do you have a tendency to beat yourself up and talk to yourself in a way you would never talk to someone else who is struggling? When you are on the cusp of making a big decision or going for something new and big, do you champion yourself by reminding yourself of your strengths, talents, and qualifications? Or, do you tell yourself you’re probably not qualified, and you probably won’t get what you want out of the situation?   External communication is how you communicate with others. When you are entering a high-stakes situation, do you show up with confidence and grace? Do you speak up, share ideas, and stand up for the people and issues that matter most to you in a way that calls people to take action and/or work beside you? Or, do you sit back, stay quiet, or run away the moment you sense anything uncomfortable, unpredictable, or challenging? Or, maybe you get defensive and aggressive when things don’t go your way - perhaps taking on a my-way-or-the-highway attitude?   As you may suspect, our internal communication greatly impacts our external communication. If you don’t have your internal communication dialed in, your external communication will probably be pretty poor, even harmful in high-stakes moments. Our internal communication patterns and habits are likely defaults that have been with us for years if not decades. In this episode, I talk through 5 ways to begin to shift your internal communication defaults in order to positively impact your external communication habits.   Bottom line… Your internal communication must be rock solid if you want your external communication to get you closer to your goals and dreams!  Resources: Join Aligned, my leadership incubator for values-driven women leaders: saradean.com/aligned Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to shameless leadership. I'm your host, Sarah Dean. This show is for women, transgender people, non-binary folks, as well as allies, who are committed to advancing their leadership while also advancing the leadership of those around them. In each episode, we will offer practical tips, leadership strategies, and inspiring

0:22.0

stories to help you become a more confident, compassionate, and inclusive leader. The truth is,

0:27.5

you were born to lead. What might happen for you if you were to wholeheartedly embrace that

0:32.3

part of yourself? So let's start now, together. Hello, shameless leaders.

0:38.8

I'm so happy to be here with you today.

0:46.1

I am coming off a season of lots and lots of talking and speaking and traveling.

0:47.8

I'm actually not even coming off the season.

0:48.5

I'm still in it.

0:53.8

But what's been really cool and exciting is that I've been able to have the same conversation with lots of different

0:54.6

groups of people in different contexts, in different industries, in different cities and states.

1:00.9

And so I've been able to start keeping track of themes. And this is always fun for me because it

1:05.1

allows me to collect information and data that I can then share with you all in terms of like,

1:08.5

what am I noticing? What am I hearing? What are the things that I'm just hearing over and over again in our current world situation or our current

1:15.3

sometimes, you know, professional situations in terms of what we're seeing trends I'm seeing

1:20.4

between or across industries? So I love it when I can like go out in the field, so to speak,

1:25.0

and collect information for you. And I'm in that season right now.

1:28.3

Today I'm excited because we're going to be talking about unlocking your internal communication

1:32.1

to upgrade your external communication. And the reason we're talking about this is because

1:36.3

it's been coming up over and over again in the speaking that I've been doing, because it's

1:40.7

something that I have very intentionally planted into most of the speaking that I'm doing

1:45.5

right now. So there's a certain, there's a speaking presentation or training that I've been leading

1:51.0

that's mostly the same in a lot of aspects. And I've been doing it across different industries

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