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Shameless Leadership

930: LEADERSHIP TIPS: The Hidden Costs of Women Masking at Work

Shameless Leadership

Sara Dean

Education, Management, How To, Business, Self-improvement

4.7800 Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2025

⏱️ 34 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Can we talk about women masking at work? I spend a lot of time in conversation with women who are the only woman or one of very few women in the room at work. There is a fatigue and malaise that comes from being in this position long term - even if you enjoy and respect many of the men you’re sitting beside. When a person is notably different from the majority of the people around them, they mask themselves to fit in, be taken seriously, gain a competitive advantage, and maintain safety. Here are some of the ways many women routinely mask in male-dominated workplaces: Altering vocal pitch and language Modifying speech patterns to avoid feminine speech markers and amplify masculine ones Dressing to look “good” but also professional, well kept, not too showy, not too sharp Having hair and makeup done in a way that suits the room vs suiting comfort Suppressing natural emotional reactions Avoiding vulnerability Maintaining a calm and demure demeanor no matter how heated others are getting Controlling facial expressions Laughing at jokes even if uncomfortable Participating in meaningless conversations (sports, tech, male-dominated hobbies) Dismissing or hiding personal interests and hobbies Avoiding or downplaying family situations Positioning self as “one of the guys” Avoiding asking questions or seeking help Many women are so conditioned to masking that they don’t know they are doing it until they are in an environment where they no longer have to do it. One of the reasons I have built so many group coaching programs for women over the last decade is because of how deeply impactful it is when women come together and drop their masks. In these containers, deep growth and transformation transpire. No facades. No faking it. Only full transparency. All you. All out. THIS is the key to your future as a woman leader. In this episode, I talk through what masking looks like, what masking is costing you, and how you can start to drop your mask to show up more fully as you. All you.   Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding Masking in Women at Work 02:46 The Impact of Masking on Emotional Well-being 06:01 Navigating Gender Dynamics in Professional Spaces 09:06 Recognizing and Supporting Masking Behaviors 11:48 The Costs of Masking: Emotional and Professional 15:06 Strategies for Unmasking and Authenticity 18:00 Creating Supportive Spaces for Women 21:08 How You Can Take Action on This Episode Links Mentioned: Join Aligned, my Women’s Leadership Incubator for values-driven women leaders looking to be more loud in their leadership in 2025: saradean.com/aligned Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:32.6

welcome to shameless leadership i'm your host sarah dean this show is for women, transgender people, non-binary folks, as well as allies, who are committed to advancing their leadership while also advancing the leadership of those around them. In each episode, we will offer practical tips, leadership strategies, and inspiring stories to help you become a more confident, compassionate, and

0:55.2

inclusive leader. The truth is, you were born to lead. What might happen for you if you were to

1:00.9

wholeheartedly embrace that part of yourself? So let's start now together. Hello, shameless leaders.

1:07.8

I'm so excited to be here today. And I'm excited about what we're going to talk about.

1:11.3

I feel like this is a topic that doesn't get addressed enough. And I feel like there's also

1:14.4

that this is a topic where you might not have much awareness around the fact that you're doing

1:18.4

some of these things. And I think sometimes having awareness and can help us find new behaviors

1:22.9

and help us maybe learn some behaviors that might be adaptive in other ways that would be helpful. So we're

1:27.7

going to be talking about masking today and talking about the impact of women masking at work.

1:33.6

And so masking is what we do when we are trying to maintain our safety, when we're trying to

1:38.0

fit in somewhere, where we're trying to be maybe like people who are around us who have more

1:42.3

power or control than us. And we want to make sure

1:44.9

that like we don't get called out or we don't like something, we don't get taken to task in some

1:49.3

way. So we oftentimes we will adapt or adopt other people's behaviors or qualities of the people

1:55.8

around us, even though they're not genuine to who we are, because this allows us to fit in.

2:00.4

It allows us to be seen as one of them.

2:03.3

It allows us to not stand out.

...

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