92: Slayer of Men, Conqueror of Space (The Gospel of Philip, the Gospel of Mary, and the Gospel of Jesus’s Wife)
Apocrypals
Chris Sims
4.9 • 650 Ratings
🗓️ 11 July 2021
⏱️ 95 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I think you’ll agree, Theophiloi, that while texts containing actual stories about things like 12’ werewolf saints and angel jacuzzis are nice, the real action here on our goodtime comedy podcast is in non-narrative, fragmented gnostic texts about how good is not good, evil is not evil, Jesus is made of bread, and also he had French babies. We’re diving once more into the geometry that inspired the Da Vinci Code (and, you know, the whole thing about Merovingian kings) as we read through the Gospel of Philip and the Gospel of Mary Magdalene! Or what’s left of them, at least.
Topics of Discussion: Christmas in July, Death & Taxes, Persona 5 (again), an actual Blessed Voltron Mary, Jesus is Clothes, a pretty crucial missing four pages, Johnny Ace, Jesus is Bread, a sound clip from the Da Vinky Code that I’m sorry to say I will definitely be getting some mileage out of, Professor X, a very good joke, a heck of a guess about some kisses, the most amazing paragraph Benito has ever read on Wikipedia.
Hymnal: “Secret Lovers” by Atlantic Starr, “Aria of the Soul” by RokutakeForte ( https://www.youtube.com/c/RokutakeForte/ )
Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246
Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to Apocopalus on the Greenlit Podcast Network. |
| 0:03.7 | Make sure to check out all of our shows at greenlitpodcasts.com. |
| 0:08.7 | The world came into being through an error. |
| 0:12.6 | The Gospel of Philip. |
| 0:15.7 | So, see, we love us. |
| 0:18.8 | Yeah. |
| 0:20.0 | That's what we are. we shouldn't be together but we can't let go oh no because we love each other's |
| 0:31.3 | so hello friends and neighbors and welcome to apocopal's this is the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible, but we try not to be jerks about it. |
| 0:42.1 | My name is Chris Sims. |
| 0:43.1 | With me, as always, the other set of footprints, Benito Sereno. |
| 0:46.6 | Benito, how are you today? |
| 0:49.5 | I'm overall pretty good. |
| 0:51.8 | How is your holiday been, Chris? |
| 0:57.9 | My holiday? Yeah, by which by which of course i mean uh christmas in july the annual month long uh commemoration of the horrific death by transmogrification |
| 1:05.7 | of the evil wizard winterbolt um uh no of course we had a we had a holiday weekend uh this past week |
| 1:16.5 | and i don't want to say i would never claim that i can fully understand the experience of being a jew |
| 1:22.4 | at christmas but i feel like i got a flavor a suissant soussaintilla of what that was like. |
| 1:29.8 | My going out, like, we went to a restaurant, my wife and I, and, like, the waitress was like, |
| 1:35.6 | I hope you have a good holiday weekend. |
| 1:38.4 | And we were like, what? |
| 1:40.7 | What holiday? |
| 1:42.8 | What do you? |
... |
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