91: The Me In This Story Is You (The Second Book of Samuel, Part 2)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 27 June 2021

⏱️ 87 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual assault with regards to the story of Amnon and Tamar, beginning right after the ad break and ending at 26:00.

If I had to rank them, Theophiloi, I’d say that the most wildly violent pieces of media I have ever taken in through the eyeballs are Doom 2016, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, and the Second Book of Samuel. Unlike the first two, this one’s not all fun, but we do eventually get to the point where it goes full-on Looney Tunes.

Topics of Discussion: Apocrypals X/Y, the Correctional Confessional, the immediately canceled TV show “Kings” which apparently enough people remember that they were surprised we didn’t talk about it, Jonadab, handshakes: bad, ZADOK THE PRIEST, summer fruit, the hilarious death of Absolom, Benito claiming that Bible makes narrative sense like he hasn’t been here for the past 89 episodes, double good news???, the Super-Dictionary, Goliath II: Back In The Habit, Halloween Havoc 1995 (I.Y.K.Y.K.), the Hushathite, an example of how well Benito has come to know Chris over the past three years.

Hymnal: “Stuck In the Middle With You” by Stealers Wheel, “Opening Music + Title Screen” by Jonny Music

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everybody. We wanted to give a content warning before we started. The second book of Samuel does
0:05.8	contain a depiction of a sexual assault, and we do discuss it in this episode. We will give you a heads
0:10.9	up before we get to that part on the show, but if you want to completely skip it, it starts at about
0:15.4	18 minutes and 48 seconds into the show, right after the ad ad break and goes until about 26 minutes.
0:22.5	As always, thank you for listening and we hope you enjoy the show.
0:28.3	You're listening to Apocrypal's on the Greenlit Podcast Network. Make sure to check out
0:33.1	all of our shows at greenlit podcasts.com.
0:40.3	I pursue my enemies and destroy them.
0:43.1	I do not turn back until they are wiped out.
0:45.9	I wipe them out and crush them, and they do not rise.
0:47.5	They fall beneath my feet.
0:50.2	You have clothed me with strength for battle. You subdue my adversaries before me.
0:52.9	You have made my enemies retreat before me. I annihilate
0:56.5	those who hate me. They look, but there is no one to save them. They look to the Lord, but he does not
1:03.9	answer them. I pulverize them like dust of the earth. I crush them and trample them like mud in the streets.
1:13.8	The second book of Samuel, chapter 22, verses 38 through 43.
1:20.8	Clouds to the letter me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
1:28.1	Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you. Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you.
1:32.0	And I'm wondering what it is I...
1:34.2	Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocryphaals.
1:37.0	This is the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible, but we try not to be jerks about it.
1:41.3	My name is Chris Sims.
	...

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