911 operators. What's the strangest, serious emergency you've heard?

I answered the phone and gave my usual 911, do you need police, fire, or ambulance.

And the person on the other end just started screaming, Bees! Bees!

I assumed that the bees were neither mugging him nor on fire, so I put it through to ambulance,

because what the frick even?

And now there's coffee all over my desk and my supervisor is looking at me weirdly.

Thank you.

911, what's your emergency?

There's a pig in the road.

A big one.

Sir, where are you?

At the stoplight. It's the biggest

gosh darn pig I've ever seen. Get someone in here now. This is in a one stoplight town and

the bar is near the intersection. How big is the pig? About the size of a Volkswagen.

How much have you had to drink? I'm not freaking drunk. It's a giant pig the size of a small car. What is wrong with you, people?

The officers showed up to find a full-grown hippo that had escaped from the local wild animal park.

It was a big, frickin' pig, I guess.

FYI, this was at 2.30 a.m. when the bars closed.

I get a lot of calls from elderly people hallucinating because of UTIs.

One woman had been following CPR instructions and when the crew arrived she was doing very

gentle chest compressions on her slightly confused but very much alive can't. Wait, UTIs can make

you hallucinate? Mostly in older people, weakened immune systems and all that makes

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