88 Miles

The Kirk Minihane Show

Barstool Sports

Comedy

4.4 • 7.8K Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2020

⏱️ 98 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's night two at the VFW hall in Florence and we find ourselves at war. Once again, Kirk Minihane's enemies have conspired against the Kirk Minihane Show in a coordinated effort to shutdown and silence and charity show. Hours before we went to tape, five agents of the state descended upon VFW Post 8006 to carry out the capricious and nonsensical dictates of the Northampton Health Board. We prevailed over the forces of tyranny. In other triumphs, Steve from Providence successfully walked 88 miles from Providence, RI all the way to Florence. His thighs look like raw ground beef, but he has become legend. Sadly, Intern Justin failed to properly document the adventure as he instead decided to sleep for 17 hours. (There's still time to donate to Steve's GoFundMe, proceeds of which will go either to Steve's child support or the VFW hall: https://tinyurl.com/y3b2oqz4)

You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kminshow

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Kirkman and show listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube.
0:04.8	Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
0:09.0	Alright, Night 2 is here. We're here. And this is, I swear to God, I'd rather be in fucking Somalia tonight than me.
0:15.0	I would rather be in Tunisia. I would rather be in Iraq. I would rather be anywhere. I would rather be, you know, stuck in a Subaru with 19 liberal Northampton women.
0:26.0	Right now. We could probably make that happen.
0:29.0	Then be, I'd rather be in Maclaine. I would rather be, I'm a mom's deathbed. I would rather be anywhere. I would rather be, you know, sleeping, having a threesome with Mark Handen is fucking hideous wife.
0:41.0	I just, I just, I just, I just, I, I, I, it's this is going to be a brutal night for everyone. This is a classic Kirkman and show fashion.
0:48.0	I've dragged everyone here. People have walked distances, come from around to just see people get fucking destroyed for an hour and a half tonight.
0:56.0	It's such a mood. You wouldn't fucking believe it. You wouldn't, I am, I cannot believe it. Fuckin' I'm on the ride.
1:03.0	Nine tampons in me. I'm on the fuck nine quadruple rag. What's nine? Five subpenting on one's nine.
1:09.0	Deconon? Deconon. Great. Deconon. I can't fucking get a Jeep deal, but you can come with Deconon. It's fantastic.
1:17.0	All right, we'll talk to you tomorrow. Let's get out of here. It's fine. It could be worse. It could be worse.
1:24.0	So you want to start with good, bad, too bad, one good. Let's start it with bad. Okay. Let me get started with that. Follow me.
1:32.0	Well, not bad, but I guess it turned out to be a good thing. There was a scare in the afternoon. We went to war with the town of Northampton again.
1:41.0	This was them coming to war with us. This was a defensive war, a rare defensive war.
1:47.0	Yeah. Pearl Harbor. Yes. An attempted Pearl Harbor. My girl in Montsew will call a Pearl Harbor job. You can't call that anymore.
1:53.0	But you know, we're sitting there. I'm getting ready to come here. You're here. You text me. You say, hey, there are five?
2:01.0	Yes, there were five. That's a pentagon. Five government employees showed up. Five government employees showed up. To do what?
2:06.0	What purpose to carry out the policies alleged policies of the Northampton health board?
2:12.0	Well, I mean, there was there was there was only five people that weren't that fucking party, I guess.
2:16.0	Like 50,000 people in Northampton last night. Correct. I don't know. I don't understand it. So people are going crazy, which is fine. I don't care.
2:23.0	Coronavirus is over. Doesn't matter to me. I don't care. I don't care anymore. I give up. This has been 10 months. I'm sick of it.
	...

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