83: The Becoming

God Awful Movies

Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

Comedy, Leisure, Tv & Film

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 21 March 2017

⏱️ 108 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of "The Becoming", which we're pretty sure was meant as a movie. With candle-based lighting, wet microphones, sarcastic scoring, and 'free with the unlimited plan' cameras, this series of scarcely coherent scenes competes for the worst film we've ever reviewed.

If you’d like to pick up a copy of our new ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R

If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

Transcript

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0:00.0	Looking for keys, looking for keys, looking for keys.
0:05.0	Looking for keys.
0:09.9	Everyone's tired of looking for keys.
0:14.8	So the Honda HRV hybrid can be unlocked and turned on
0:21.9	with your phone. Why are we listening take us next?
0:28.0	Honda the power of dreams.
0:39.2	It just like go to one bar one time learn one thing about one thing in your movie and then everyone turns into a zombie.
0:43.7	We're on zombies now.
0:45.2	Those are different, right?
0:47.2	zombies are not the same as vampires.
0:50.2	Are they?
0:51.2	I feel like four different pieces of shit all tried to make four different shitty movies and then they all got together for drinks and they were like, do you have a quarter of a movie?
1:02.0	Oh my God, I've got a quarter of a movie!
1:07.0	God awful movies!
1:10.0	Movies! movie. Welcome back to the gam cast where each week we sample another selection from
1:23.9	Christian cinema because there are only so many doors you can slam your dick
1:27.3	into. I'm your host Noah illusions and sitting to my immediate left is my good friend
1:31.2	Heath and right heath welcome back thanks Noah you
1:34.4	know who doesn't make enough regular movies the cast of you porn movies
1:39.2	they should do that more. This is fun.
1:43.0	That's what we got. And sitting 81 miles to my right is my bad friend Eli Bosnick.
1:48.0	Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?
	...

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