83: Dry Hump Winter Formal

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.8 • 7.3K Ratings

🗓️ 19 August 2020

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sock Squad riffs on how Superman must cum WAY too hard, how Michael said no to a gecko girl, and how reckless teenagers are. Also they talk about the most politically divisive topic ever... jerking off with ham. This is a science podcast.

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Thanks to Lucy for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.lucy.co and use the promo code SOCKS for 20% off.

Thanks to Hydrant for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.drinkhydrant.com/SOCKS or use promo code SOCKS at checkout for 25% off your first order.

Thanks to Blue Chew for sponsoring this episode. Get your first order free at www.bluechew.com with our promo code SOCKS.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm outside with a dick and hand holding hand dick and hand
0:06.6	Get your back up on the wall dance
0:11.0	Get down on it. Brown on it dick on it is owned by Joe Rogan
0:16.7	What yeah, no, I say kid down on it. Oh get down on it. Get down on it. I think it's more
0:22.2	Get down on it the floor. Oh shit. That my things on guy. Damn the floor general. I salute the floor
0:29.2	Oh shit, I salute a floor. You just karate chop it. Ah, I think you come on it
0:34.7	If you come on how you soup the floor wax on wax off. Yeah, mr. Miyagi
0:38.9	You're a low key name should be mr. Miyagi. I don't know
0:42.6	What is mr. Miyagi doing right? It's cry to kid real no, credit kids not real his career is done
0:47.4	And I think mr. Miyagi passed away. I'm RIP rest of peace legend. Yeah, did you ever do karate growing up? Oh?
0:52.9	I think I says I hate both my parents for this thing you never
0:56.5	I think you did what how does it go again? Yeah, my mom was like hey Michael having a birthday
1:00.9	We're gonna get you some karate class lessons
1:02.9	I want to karate class lessons so back someone repeat the fuck out of people
1:06.2	So I had so much anger cuz I never did and so wait you just didn't like you knew you wanted to fight
1:10.7	But you just didn't know how to fight so you just didn't know what to do. I'm just fuck I'm just yelling in a playground
1:15.2	Just shadow box underneath the jungle gym. I knew how do you see someone's I'll beat your ass. Oh God. Yeah, I mean
1:21.0	Yeah, I just I just wanted the ability to fight
1:24.3	Okay, you know, I mean I think every little kid wants to be like oh, I beat you up Randy and then they actually fighting and he beats his ass
1:30.7	But I really wanted to have credit classes and my mom was like hey, I'm a birthday Michael
1:34.5	You get a kari class every birthday. I'm like fucking mom
1:37.3	Woo, and then she just never brought me oh
	...

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