801 The Difference Between Love for and Obligation to Your Family
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
4.9 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 3 February 2026
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Does your chest ever tighten when your phone rings and you see it's someone in your family who you know needs something?
Does your stomach drop when you get a text message that says, "We need to talk"?
If you're already exhausted before you say yes to a whole plethora of things your family of origin may need from you, this post is for you.
Family obligations are something I have had a complicated relationship with. Growing up, I felt a deep loyalty to my family of origin, particularly my mother and my sisters. And it got complicated when I fell in love with my husband and became a bonus mom to three teenage sons. There was so much going on, and the truth is, you can't really prioritize both.
There's a natural shift that happens when you have a family of your own, or like me, you marry into a family. And when I was the one keeping it all together in my family of origin, I had to really decide what I was going to do. I was confronted with the extent of my obligation.
So let's talk about family obligations, guilt, roles we didn't actively volunteer for, and why so many capable, loving, high-functioning people feel trapped by the responsibilities they quietly resent.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/801
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there, and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole Show. I am so happy that you are |
| 0:08.3 | joining me today. All right. So before we get into it, I want to ask you a question. When your phone |
| 0:15.8 | rings, and it's someone from your family of origin, Maybe it's your sister who always has a problem. |
| 0:22.0 | Maybe it's the cousin who always wants to borrow money. |
| 0:24.6 | Does your chest tighten? |
| 0:27.7 | Right? |
| 0:28.0 | When you get a, we need to talk text from someone in your family. |
| 0:31.7 | Does your stomach drop? |
| 0:33.7 | Are you kind of exhausted by it all before you even say yes if the answer is you're nodding your head |
| 0:40.9 | then this episode about family obligation of the terry cole show is for you my friend so before we get |
| 0:51.0 | into it as always i just want to wow, thanks for hanging out with me. |
| 0:54.7 | You guys are the best. |
| 0:55.7 | I appreciate you so very much. |
| 0:57.8 | And if you love the show, and I so hope you do, it helps me so much if you would rate, |
| 1:03.1 | review, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. |
| 1:05.7 | Please do it. |
| 1:06.7 | It helps. |
| 1:08.2 | Okay. |
| 1:08.7 | I also want to say thank you to Pisccia 235 for this five-star review. |
| 1:14.1 | Great podcast and excited for the book. I recently discovered this podcast and can't stop listening to it. |
| 1:19.5 | It answers so many questions I had, some that I didn't even know how to ask and gives practical advice in such a beautiful manner. |
| 1:26.4 | I love the topics, the approach, |
... |
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