79: Baptism For the Dead

Irreligiosophy

Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 869 Ratings

🗓️ 7 September 2010

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Wherein we explain the roots of the bizarre Mormon practice of baptizing dead people by proxy, featuring a brief guest segment with Jessica, an actual person who got suckered into doing it.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and
0:05.0	welcome to this episode of Irreligiosophy the one true podcast and the only podcast to pioneer post
0:14.8	boredom baptisms before the LDS church got around to it. Yes those sneaky
0:19.5	bastards are always trying to steal good ideas and ours is a real winner we figure we'll set up a nice
0:27.0	vat of water out there you bring in your dead people and start dipping them and we'll just make soup.
0:33.2	Yeah, we're not lazy like the Mormons.
0:35.2	We're going to actually go out there into cemeteries, dig up dead bodies, drag them over to the
0:40.0	baptismal font and fucking dunk them.
0:42.0	None of this proxy shit.
0:43.4	Yeah, we will shovel the ashes out of all those coffins.
0:48.7	And we're not homo sapienists either.
0:51.9	We'll baptize dead cats, fossil dinosaurs and anything.
0:56.4	Exactly. If it was once living, fuck, you know, trilobites or fossil plants, we'll do that too.
1:02.1	Now the thing that really inspired us to phytis or fossil plants will do that too.
1:02.6	Now the thing that really inspired us to do this was the saying that dead girls don't say
1:08.0	no.
1:09.2	So please send us all the female dead you have.
1:13.0	Does that include dinosaurs?
1:15.0	I'm okay with that.
1:17.0	Yeah, just a paper bag with a picture on the back.
1:22.0	All right, yeah, this podcast will be about the LDS practice of baptism for the dead, where
1:27.1	it came from, why they do it, and why they continue to do it in the face of all the controversy?
	...

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