Welcome to episode 783 with my return guest, Jennifer Westcott, and I want to apologize right off

the bat that the audio on my conversation with her is not as good as it usually is because

we recorded remotely, but the worst part of it is in the beginning of the episode.

So it does get slightly better as the episode goes along. But I feel like it's too good of a conversation to not air. And I feel like it's a really important topic as well, reconciling the good memories that we've had with an abuser, with the history of the bad ones, especially the ones that have, you know, left long-lasting damage.

But there you have it.

And let's read a couple of surveys before we get to that.

This is from the struggle in a sentence survey, and this is filled out by a guy who calls himself Nevin.

And about his alcoholism and drug addiction, he writes,

I thought that quitting drinking would improve my life, but instead it's

become slightly worse, significantly more dull and lonely because I can't go out with people

without the liquid courage. And I wanted to just share with you, Nevin, if you're listening,

is a lot of us relate very, very much to that struggle after we get sober.

I didn't realize how socially anxious I was until I got sober.

And one of the things that helps me, and I've mentioned this a couple of times on the podcast,

but years ago I read a book by somebody who said that one of the things that helps them

with their social anxiety when they're in a party situation or really any place is to take

an interest in that other person and to ask them questions about themselves.

What I usually start off with is, you know, what do you do for a living or, you know, so

what's a good movie you've seen recently or, you know, do you have any hobbies?

And I think if we're somebody who's even remotely

naturally curious about other people, the next question will come into your mind.

And before you know it, a conversation is kind of flowing. And it gets you out of that

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