779: How to Address Bad Behavior, with Nilofer Merchant
Coaching for Leaders
Dave Stachowiak
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 20 April 2026
⏱️ 38 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Nilofer Merchart: Our Best Work
Nilofer Merchant is ranked among the world’s top management thinkers by Thinkers50 and is the founder of The Intangible Labs, where she defines the leading indicators of modern work. She’s launched more than 100 products totaling $18B in revenue, and her TED Talk, Sitting Is the Smoking of Our Generation, ranks in the top 10% of all TED Talks. She is the author of Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us (Amazon, Bookshop)*.
When bad behavior happens in an organization, it’s the job of the leader to address it. In this conversation, Nilofer and I explore the strategies and tactics that will help you do this with clarity and effectiveness.
Key Points
- Bad behavior isn’t just “bad apples” – it’s also the organizational norms of “the barrel” that reinforce these behaviors.
- Most management norms are not persuasive; they are persistent.
- Begin by getting clarity on what’s acceptable and what’s not.
- Interrupt behavior without escalation. Consider phrases like, “Ouch,” or “I don’t know if you mean to…” or, “Did you intend that to be hurtful?”
- Culture is not defined by words on the wall—it’s defined by what happens when someone crosses the line.
- Ask everyone to enforce norms, not just the person who was harmed.
Resources Mentioned
- Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us by Nilofer Merchant (Amazon, Bookshop)*
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
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- How to Respond Better When Challenged, with Dolly Chugh (episode 615)
- Being Nice May Not Be Kind, with Graham Allcott (episode 767)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | When bad behavior happens in an organization, it's the job of the leader to address it. |
| 0:05.8 | In this episode, how to do that with clarity and effectiveness. |
| 0:10.8 | This is Coaching for Leaders, Episode 779. |
| 0:15.3 | Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential. |
| 0:23.5 | Greetings to you from Orange County, California. |
| 0:26.9 | This is Coaching for Leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stahoviac. |
| 0:31.8 | Leaders aren't born. |
| 0:33.4 | They're made. |
| 0:34.4 | And this weekly show helps leaders thrive at key inflection points. |
| 0:39.3 | One of the challenges that comes up for so many leaders, certainly many of the folks in our |
| 0:45.9 | listening audience, is how do you handle the difficult situation when there's bad behavior |
| 0:52.2 | in the organization? How do you address it? And how do you redirect a bit |
| 0:57.0 | so that that bad behavior doesn't become a cultural norm? It's a challenging thing that all of us |
| 1:02.7 | face. And we can all influence this to be better. Today, I'm so glad to welcome a guest. It's going to |
| 1:09.5 | help us think about this in a new way and how we can take some tangible steps to improve. I'm so glad to welcome a guest is going to help us think about this in a new way |
| 1:11.0 | and how we can take some tangible steps to improve. I'm so pleased to introduce Nillifer |
| 1:15.6 | Merchant. She is ranked among the world's top management thinkers by Thinkers 50 and is the founder |
| 1:21.1 | of the intangible labs where she defines the leading indicators of modern work. She's launched |
| 1:26.5 | more than 100 products totaling 18 billion |
| 1:29.0 | in revenue. And her TED Talk, Sitting is the smoking of our generation, ranks in the top 10% |
| 1:34.8 | of all TED Talks. She is the author of our best work, break free from the 24 invisible norms |
| 1:41.8 | that limit us. Nillifer, what a pleasure to have you on. |
... |
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