776 Decoding Desire with Sex + Relationship Therapist Shadeen Francis
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
4.9 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 23 October 2025
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You feel disconnected from your own pleasure. Sex becomes a duty instead of desire. In this episode, licensed sex therapist Shadeen Francis breaks down why women especially struggle to connect with embodied wanting and how shame keeps you trapped between "should" and "want."
Learn why your partner actually wants you to feel desire, the psychology behind self-abandonment in relationships, and practical steps to reclaim your pleasure and your voice.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/776
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole show, where I'm going to be |
| 0:05.9 | talking about desire. In this interview with my friend Shadine Francis, she is a licensed |
| 0:14.5 | marriage and family psychotherapist and a board certified sex therapist. We are talking about |
| 0:20.2 | desire, how to tap into it, what gets in the way of |
| 0:24.8 | tapping into it. Shadine's experience spans the domains of mental health, emotional intelligence, |
| 0:30.6 | and the intersection of sexual wellness and social justice. So she and I met at we we were both presenters at this big, huge psychotherapy conference, |
| 0:42.8 | this Pessi conference in D.C. earlier this year. And I met with my friend, Dr. Alexandra |
| 0:49.7 | Solomon, who many of you follow and know, she's been on the show more than once. And we just had a wonderful time. And I had this experience with Shadine where we ate multiple meals together because we were like this group of people sort of hanging out. It was a multiple day event. And she was so great to, you know, ask people what they wanted to eat and then order for the table because people wanted her to do that. |
| 1:16.1 | So we called her the menu mama. |
| 1:17.9 | And it was so interesting to, she so enjoyed sort of, we all so enjoyed our food. |
| 1:26.0 | But it was like there was almost this focus on |
| 1:30.9 | desiring to eat what we were eating rather than just being like, well, whatever you pick is |
| 1:36.0 | fine. She really got into it, like asking each person what they wanted. Anyway, I noted that. |
| 1:41.1 | I was like, oh, this is so interesting. And then in this interview, we actually |
| 1:44.3 | brought it back to food, sensuality, sex, desire, all of the things. So if you are interested |
| 1:53.0 | about the relationship between desire and sex and how to tap into your own desire in life, |
| 2:01.2 | I hope that you enjoy this interview with Shadine Francis |
| 2:04.0 | as much as I enjoyed interviewing her. |
| 2:22.3 | This is the Terry Cole show, and as you might have guessed, I'm your host, Terry Cole. For over two decades, I've been a licensed psychotherapist, love and boundaries expert, and I'm |
| 2:27.8 | also the founder of The Real Love Revolution and Boundary Boot Camp. On this show, I'll bring |
| 2:32.8 | you simple strategies based on practical psychology, |
| 2:36.2 | inspiring expert interviews, |
... |
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