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The Art of Charm

754: Steven Hayes on Why Craving Pain is Human

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 15 April 2019

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one of the most effective methods to increase psychological flexibility - but what exactly is ACT, how can it decrease the suffering in your life, and why is it so crucial to leading a happy and fulfilling life, especially in this day and age? What to Listen For What is the bus driver metaphor and how can you use it to prevent your thoughts and feelings from controlling you? What is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and why is it so effective? What one question can you ask yourself to determine why something is important to you? Why is it important to us to experience the full range of emotions, rather than just the good ones? How can you learn to appreciate negative feelings just as much as positive ones so you can decrease the suffering in your life? What can you do to turn negative feelings (like anxiety) into a guiding compass for what you want in life? What has been the biggest challenge with the way our lives have been infused with technology and what can you do to lessen the negative impacts? How dominant is the comparison of more versus less in our heads? What is the best way to start overcoming your anxiety, and why might it seem counterintuitive at first? What simple exercise can you do to transform your mental state whenever you want? Pain is unavoidable. One could argue it is the most important stimulus for change and growth in a person’s life. And if pain is that important, then having a mindset or method for dealing with pain can only benefit you in the long run. If you allow yourself to get hung up on painful moments and refuse to learn from them, then you will only increase the suffering you experience. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helps individuals to shift their perspective on pain and suffering by improving their psychological flexibility. Think of it as a tree in a storm. If that tree is stiff, it will eventually snap under enough stress, but if the tree is flexible, no matter how hard the wind blows, the tree will simply bend until the storm has passed. Do you want to snap under the stress of life? Or do you want to bend, and come out the other side stronger and wiser? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language.You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text CHARM to 484848. Access a World of Knowledge. Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit Steven Hayes Episode 727: Sugar Ray Leonard Mental Brakes to Avoid Mental Breaks | Steven Hayes | TEDx How love turns pain into purpose | Steven Hayes | TEDx Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome back to the Artichon podcast. I'm Johnny and I'm AJ. Thank you for joining us on this show,

0:04.5

where we bring you actionable tips and strategies on how to connect socially boost your confidence

0:10.0

and navigate the nuances of social dynamics. We're navigating relationships this month and

0:15.2

today we're going to play an interview. We recorded a little while back in December with our

0:19.9

good friend, Steven Hayes, who teaches psychology at the University of Reno. If you're not familiar

0:26.3

with him, we had a talk about his clinical work, which is called acceptance and commitment

0:30.6

therapy or act for short. And act is all about, well, what you would expect, accepting life and

0:37.8

committing to the things you value most. It goes much deeper than that though. We unpacked a lot of it

0:43.1

in episode 729. Self esteem is bullshit. And act is something we use in our courses here at the

0:49.5

Artichon. So this month we wanted to expand the idea of accepting and committing because

0:54.6

navigating through your life and our relationships is challenging, no matter who you are.

1:00.8

So we're going to play this interview in a moment. But before we do, we have a few announcements.

1:05.2

If you're new to the show, this podcast is based on our live in-person training programs. So we've

1:10.6

been running for over a decade right here in sunny Hollywood, California. And we also have some

1:16.1

really great courses online. If you happen to be stuck in the snow and Stockholm, if you want to

1:21.2

learn more about these world class boot camp programs or are online training, check us out at

1:26.3

the artofcharm.com. And next week we got a fantastic interview with a friend of ours, David Romanelli.

1:33.2

He came by the studio to talk to us about navigating relationships with the elders in our communities.

1:38.8

We're still seeing some great questions rolling in our mailbox for our monthly Q&A. We love

1:43.6

them and we love you to send more. They're great questions. And if you got one for us, it's simple to

1:48.8

share. Yeah, just go to the artofcharm.com slash questions or email us at questions at theartofcharm.com.

1:55.3

You can always find us on social, even on Instagram. I'm at AJ Harbinger and Johnny's there too at

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