740 How Perfectionism Sabotages Love
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
4.9 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 29 July 2025
⏱️ 26 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
"I'll start dating as soon as I lose those 10 pounds."
"I can't go to that event until I find the perfect outfit."
"I'll put myself out there when I feel more confident, more ready."
Do any of these sound familiar? That little whisper in the back of your head that seems so reasonable, almost protective?
I want you to sit with this for a moment: underneath that whisper is a belief that where you are right now, exactly as you are, is not good enough. That unless you present some flawless version of yourself to the world, you're not worthy of love, connection, or success.
This is how perfectionism sneaks its way into our relationships, and it's far more insidious than you might think. On today's episode I'm going to give you tips to identify where you're being a perfectionist, recognize the impact it's having on your relationships, and take your choices back from perfectionism.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/740
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there, and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole Show. I'm so happy to imagine |
| 0:05.8 | your cute little face. I want to start with a question. Do you have a tendency to procrastinate |
| 0:12.7 | doing things if you're not good at them or when it comes to, let's say, dating? Do you say things like, |
| 0:20.1 | I'm going to date when I lose the 10 pounds, |
| 0:23.9 | or when I'm finished with grad school, or when I get my eviseline off? |
| 0:28.6 | Anybody? |
| 0:29.6 | Feeling like, I'm not perfect yet, but I'm going to do those things later, when I'm better. Because what is implied in those thoughts |
| 0:41.4 | is that how you are now isn't good enough or isn't enough in some way. So in this episode of |
| 0:47.6 | the Terry Cole show, we are taking on perfectionism. And if you're in HFC, a high functioning |
| 0:52.5 | codependent, a lot of times perfectionism and |
| 0:56.4 | HFC go hand in hand. |
| 0:59.8 | And in this episode, I'm going to be talking about how, what does perfectionism look like, |
| 1:04.5 | your downloaded perfectionism blueprint, and what can you do to strive for excellence instead of suffering from perfectionism? |
| 1:16.3 | That is what we are talking about. |
| 1:18.1 | So before we get into it, I want to say thank you for being with me as I do pretty much every week |
| 1:21.7 | because I'm just so happy you're here. |
| 1:24.7 | I don't know what I'd be doing with my life. |
| 1:26.4 | If you guys didn't listen to |
| 1:27.7 | this podcast, in September, it'll be 10 years. I've been doing this pod every single week, |
| 1:32.5 | twice a week. And I just love spending time with you. It's my, my happiest thing to do is to know |
| 1:39.2 | that you are out there in the world, that you care about your mental health, that you care about other people, |
| 1:45.2 | that you care about your own evolution, because you are my people. So thank you for being here. |
... |
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