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I'm not saying that first it was like what do I do? Who am I? What do I believe? So there was a lot of internal things happening like, okay, what is it? What with the church? Do I want to keep? And what do I need to let go?

And so when I figured that out, then I was like, okay, this value, this principle, this moral is important to me and I get to have that be part of who the new Nicky is.

And it was so exciting because I didn't have limits. I still, it's still so exciting. I don't have limits and I get to grow in whatever area and whatever way I want.

And of course I value my husband's opinion and love him. He's part of me. We've been together for 22 years plus, you know, been married 22 years.

And he's my best friend and he's my companion in this world right now. And I wouldn't want to be with anybody else because we have history and we know each other.

And I'm so glad that we were able to come out of this together because it's difficult as it was on glad our marriage could sustain it because it got rocky.

So once you had your friends awakening, but your whole relationship of it built on a patriarchy.

Right. How did that become hard for you? What things, what things did you start noticing and what became hard?

It became hard. The verbiage that Lance was using. I noticed did not sit well with me.

And I'm. Gosh, well, like.

I don't know. It's still it's still coming out. I guess you know, kind of like it's a work in progress. It is. It is. It's a work in progress because I'm learning to find that voice to say, no, that's not okay.

I made a speak for me or interrupt me or assume or that sort of thing. So he's been very good.

And I definitely want to recognize him for that that he has put forth a lot of effort to change his patterns and the way that he speaks.

And to to branch away from that patriarchal personality in our in our marriage because it doesn't fit with either of our personalities now.

So I do want to give you credit for for changing that. And for me, I just feel like I feel so free to be able to be the mother that I want to be.

I felt so trapped as a mother teaching my kids things but wanting to teach them differently. And I it's just I feel so liberated to be able to reach out and grab something if I want or to get rid of something if I want if I don't want a value or a or a stipulation on myself.

I get to release that nobody else, you know, and it's I think that's when I started working in the business again together and it's never worked out in the past.

And it has been such a fun experience this this time going around because there's an equal level of respect and there's there's equality.

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