73. They Raised Him and He Tried to Kill Them (Part 2 of 2)

All The Wiser

Kimi Culp

Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.9 • 652 Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2022

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In part two of this series, Ken Coll recounts his experience raising Matthew and surviving the stabbing that nearly took his life.

A few years after adopting baby Matthew, it became clear to Tom Boulet and his husband Ken Coll that something wasn’t right. Matthew had severe behavioral issues and an oppositional, defiant nature that had him bouncing from school to school. Still, Tom and Ken left no stone unturned to get Matthew the care and treatment he needed. After finishing high school and attending a few years of college, Matthew returned home one summer and attempted to kill both Tom and Ken, stabbing them a combined 31 times in the middle of the night. After a miraculous recovery, Tom and Ken share reflections on parenting a child with mental illness and how they found meaning and purpose and a renewed devotion to each other amid tragedy.

In this episode:

Falling in love two months after divorce and an unexpected diagnosis.
The difficult entry of their adopted son, Matthew, into the world.
Navigating the special needs for a child with aggression.
Deciding that a diagnosis will not define him.
Leaning into the power of the way we choose to view things.

Stay connected to Ken:

Website: www.gardensbyken.com

Facebook: Ken Coll

Instagram: @coll_ken

Charity Donation: AIDS Project LA

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Transcript

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0:53.6	It's about keeping
0:54.4	everything secure. It was definitely a rough patch for us, but through the therapy, she suggested
1:02.9	that I have to take my feelings towards Matthew and set them aside so you can cope because you want to be there, you love your
1:14.6	husband, you want to be in this relationship and you have a son, so I had to learn how to
1:20.4	basically ignore it. I had to ignore all the chaos that for me he was bringing, I think Tom dealt with it much better
1:29.6	than I did or possibly hit it better than I did.
1:34.3	Welcome to All the Wiser, a podcast about hope and possibility on the other side of pain.
1:41.3	I'm Kimmy Kulp.
1:49.7	This is part two of a two-part series with devoted parents,
1:57.3	Ken Cole and Tom Boulay, whose son Matthew nearly stabbed them to death in 2018.
2:05.1	If you haven't listened to Part 1 with Tom released two weeks ago, it would be good to start there.
2:06.1	But I promise you won't be lost if you listen to this one first.
2:11.8	Today, we are speaking with Ken, Tom's husband, who shares his experience of the events leading up to the night of the stabbing.
2:22.3	And since we are all so much more than the worst day of our lives, I want to set the stage for Ken's story and take you back, back to the 1980s.
2:36.9	The year was 1985.
	...

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