709 How Manipulators + Narcissists Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Control You

The Terri Cole Show

Terri Cole

Psychotherapist, Sustainablechange, Guidance, Mental Health, Simplestrategies, Society & Culture, Powerofintention, Simplestrategiestoachievepersonalfreedom, Hellofreedom, Easternmindfulnesspractices, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Practicalpsychology, Terricole

5 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 22 April 2025

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How manipulatable are you?

When someone is using fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) to control you, do you recognize it, or not?

If not, or you’ve never heard of FOG, you’re in the right place. This episode is all about the FOG technique, commonly used by narcissists and others to manipulate people to do what they want at all costs. I’m breaking down what it is and sharing real-life examples from my therapy practice to help you become less susceptible.

Note: the purpose of this episode is to educate you on how people will try to manipulate you, not to make diagnoses. People using one of these tactics in isolation (like guilt) does not automatically make them narcissists.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/709

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole show. I'm so happy that you
0:06.6	are hanging out with me today. All right, let me ask you a question. I'm going to start this
0:11.7	episode with the question as I like to do. How manipulatable do you think you are? Really think about it.
0:22.7	When someone is using fear or obligation or guilt to try to get you to do what they want you to do,
0:32.3	how susceptible are you to those tactics?
0:36.0	Because that is exactly what I'm talking about today on this episode of
0:39.5	the Terry Cole show, how narcissists and other personality disorder folks will use fog,
0:46.3	which stands for fear, obligation, and guilt to get you to do what they want you to do,
0:52.2	even if it's not in your best interest, and even if it's not something
0:54.8	you want to do. So before we get into it, I just want to say deep bow of gratitude for your
1:01.0	presence in my life. You guys, this year, September, we're coming up on 10 years with this
1:07.6	podcast. So as an OG of the podcast world, we are regularly rated in the top 20
1:13.8	of mental health on iTunes. And that's because of you guys. So if you love the show,
1:20.7	if it adds value to your life, it helps me so much if you go rate it, review it, and subscribe people.
1:29.1	Why listen and not subscribe?
1:30.5	I don't get it.
1:31.2	It's a phenomenon.
1:32.1	People are doing it.
1:32.8	But please, go subscribe because it really does help me.
1:36.8	And I am committed to helping you.
1:39.5	And I would love for you to go subscribe.
1:41.6	It would be helpful to me.
	...

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