703 The Difference Between Being A Victim + Having a Victim Mentality

The Terri Cole Show

Terri Cole

Psychotherapist, Sustainablechange, Guidance, Mental Health, Simplestrategies, Society & Culture, Powerofintention, Simplestrategiestoachievepersonalfreedom, Hellofreedom, Easternmindfulnesspractices, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Practicalpsychology, Terricole

5 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 1 April 2025

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you get offended if a date doesn’t immediately get back to you?

How about when you ask a friend to call you later and they don’t?

When you pass a stranger on the street and they glance at you, looking annoyed, do you assume their annoyance is directed at you?

Or do you cut others slack in these situations, rather than take it personally?

In this episode, I’m sharing what the research says are the four dimensions of the tendency for interpersonal victimhood, breaking down the difference between having a victim mentality and being a victim, and giving you ideas on how you can shift from a victim mindset into a growth mindset.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/703

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole Show. I'm so happy that you are here. I want to start with a couple of questions for you. Is it important to you that when people hurt you that they acknowledge that an injustice has been done, right? To you, is that important to you? Are you more conscientious,
0:24.4	or do you believe yourself to be more conscientious and moral in your relations with other people
0:30.6	compared to their treatment of me? Like, do you think that you are sort of morally superior there?
0:38.5	When people close to you call you out or say that you hurt their feelings, is it important
0:43.8	to you to clarify that justice is on your side, that like you didn't really do the wrong
0:48.9	thing?
0:49.2	You really want them to understand.
0:51.4	And the last question, is it hard for you to stop thinking about injustices
0:58.6	that have been done to you? In your life, do you have a tendency to ruminate about things that
1:06.4	have happened? And if the answer is you're nodding your head yes, then you might lean towards being identified
1:14.9	with a tendency for interpersonal victimhood. So that is what this entire episode is all about.
1:24.3	That is what we are talking about today is the difference. What is the difference between
1:29.6	being victimized and having a victimhood mindset because they are absolutely not the same thing at all.
1:38.7	So this is a fascinating episode of the Cherry Cole show. I think you guys are going to love it.
1:43.8	But before we
1:44.4	get into it, I just want to say, oh, hi, friend. Thanks for hanging out with me. I really, really
1:50.0	appreciate you being here because I know that there's so much else that you could be listening to
1:55.3	that isn't me. So thanks for tuning in to the Terry Cole Show. because really, honestly, you guys, you're,
2:01.8	you're it for me. I know I say it, but it's true. I don't know what I'd be doing if there
2:06.7	wasn't an audience for this podcast and books and the courses and the masterminds and all the
2:11.9	things I do. Actually, I want to come up with some ideas of something to do because the pod is turning 10 in September,
2:20.5	which I literally cannot believe that's mind-blowing.
	...

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