Do you ever feel like your partner just doesn't care about you or doesn't value you?

Or freaking hell guys, even worse, the opponent doesn't even see you? Well, in today's episode, I'm going to share with you how to know if he's actually serious about your relationship or if it's time to walk away. Welcome to Women of Impact. How did you know Tom was someone you could spend the rest of your life with? Alright, I really, really, really want to give you one thing and this is when and now you can go off and everyone knows when the signal of the flag is waived and now you're like, okay, this is the person for me. The sad truth is it takes time. It takes small little moments over periods of time. It's one little thing in the right direction. So let me give you an example. As I started to get close with him, I started to tell him certain secrets, right? Certain things are very intimate to me. Certain things I don't necessarily share with other people. And then afterwards, you just see how they respond. In those moments moments do they welcome you? In those moments do they shut you down? In those moments do they get fearful and freeze? How do they respond as you start to open up into that relationship? Then the next part is just assess over time. One moment shouldn't actually dictate somehow someone is. For instance, we all know, if you don't eat, you get hungry. So let's say in one moment, you say something and the bike will head off. You don't want to freaking dismiss them as that oh my god, they're so dismisses of a partner and now I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with them. You have to take each scenario for what it is and just assess little by little little over time, how they respond. So like one rule that I have with my husband is you never, ever weaponize my vulnerability. Period, which means if I show you my vulnerability, if I share with you my triggers, if I share with you things I'm insecure about. In a moment, after that, maybe it's a day, maybe it's a week, maybe it's a year down the line. But in those moments let's say that we're budding heads or we're arguing. Do they ever use your vulnerability against you? Do they use these moments to just shut you down? Now look, it goes vice versa. Do you, in those moments of anger, frustration, upset, heartbreak, throw something at them that they trusted you with? That's the question. In the moment where you can be quite, quite tested, how do you show up? That to me says, who you are as a human, who you are as a person. Now look, we all have regrets. We all say things that maybe we wish had them. But let me tell you those are the moments where when it's easy for someone to use your vulnerability as a weapon, they've taken the easy road. So now what ends up happening is you're more reluctant to be sharing those things with them down the road. And then you wonder why on earth maybe you don't trust them fully. These are the little moments all along the way that you need to assess in your relationship. So when something happens to me, mark it down, whether it's mentally or physically mark it down. I had a therapist on my show and they said things for them coming threes. If someone disrespects you or crosses that line once, maybe it's an accident. If they do it again, maybe there was an accident. But the third time, the third time they've maybe used your vulnerability against you, maybe the third time they've tried to shut you down, maybe it's the third time they've shown disrespect. At that point, it definitely tells you what those flags are and whether or not you actually can trust them. And now the question is, do you want that type of person in your life? That's then the question. And that is only up to you. I can't decide that. No, when else can decide that. But you can look and say, all right, they've shown me their true colours. It's the third time they have done this. Now, am I okay with this being the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with? I don't always feel valued by my partner. What other science is time to walk away from a relationship? All right, so here's the thing. What I want you to do right now is actually write down succinctly what it means for you to feel valued.

Like be very specific because what I may value

actually may be different from yours.

And the reason why you need to write it down

and then be specific is you then need to communicate it

with them.

So for instance, I come from a really, really frickingly

loud, boys just greet family.

So if you talk to me and I'm in the middle of it,

let's say listening to you and someone says

over something over here, I may turn around and listen to them.

And then all of a sudden my dad made interrupt you

and then now I'm listening to my dad. Now, if you're born in my mouth, freaking Greek family, it's just how we are. There's no malice to it at all. But now you take my American husband, who day one comes in and meets my family.

He was so horrified.

He was like, I can't believe how disrespected

all your family is.

And I was like, what?

Like, my loving adorable. who day one comes in and meets my family. He was so horrified. He was like, I can't believe how disrespectful your family is.

And I was like, what?

Like, my loving adorable family? And he's like, but every time someone would ask me a question, I would go to answer them and they wouldn't even listen. And he's like, oh, I'm in the middle of a conversation. And someone's just freaking interruption. They show you down. Now to him, because of the value system he was born upon,

he perceived that as utterly disrespectful.

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